Do Not Disturb!
by The Chosen Storyteller
Summary: It's THAT time of the year...the time that "innocent" Apollo Justice is prepared to lose said innocence. And with hooking up with Klavier recently, maybe he can be his first? Klavier likes the idea, so that's a plus! But actually managing to do the deed is quite difficult: there's disturbance after disturbance! Ugh, will the world EVER give up...? I mean, it's taking 10 attempts!


You know what, guys? Beginning the year with beats to the endurance and heart kind of suck. But I...I am still alive and my pillow case has been replaced with another. For some reason, it was soaked with what RESEMBLED tears. *Laughter* Can you believe it?! :D

I wasn't planning to write another Klavier and Apollo centric story. However, here I am. This story is rated M for reasons: there are blatant mentions of characters ATTEMPTING to have sex. But it's more of a comedy with humor that is dirty. This is not porn however, there are no extremely detailed moments. If you wanted in your face porn, you should have clicked somewhere else.

* * *

_**Do Not Disturb!**_

_**( An Ace Attorney fanfiction typed entirely by The Chosen Storyteller )**_

_**( Disclaimer: it should be noted that The Chosen Storyteller isn't cool enough to own AA. )**_

* * *

Dare I list the many examples of disturbing being a terrible thing?

Some people don't like to have their...more interesting moments seen by the public. Why? Well, life is strange like that.

From obvious things like human functions and simply mortifying secret hobbies, there's a lot of reasons as to why your best friend probably won't let you listen to them sing while bathing, or watch him/her indulge in cupcakes and a horror movie marathon.

"Do not disturb". A phrase often seen before hotel room doors. Heh heh, but don't we all enjoy being evil and taking a glimpse inside nonetheless?

* * *

_**THE FIRST TIME~**_

"_...Oh, I like it when you call me that."_

"_What? 'Klavier'? That's your name."_

"_And you're saying it casually, as if we've always been companions. I like it."_

"_Oh yeah...I guess I've never said your name as much as I've done so lately."_

"_Well, I did mention we're officially an item. You're free to give me a title~"_

"_Okay, and you can just call me 'master'."_

"_...What."_

"_Think about it, **Klavier**_. _You've actually confessed to my face your, ahem, walk on both sides feelings only with me. You've practically stated with a cheesy grin that I'm always going to be one guy who sweeps you off your feet. Therefore, what other conclusion is there?"_

"_I think I spy a challenge in your tone. Herr Forehead, are you implying that because I'm seduced by your utterly unintentional seduction antics? Just because I shiver in a good way when you just smile at me, I am destined to refer to you as 'master'?"_

"_Uh, that, that was kind of joke...you don't have to grin like you're enjoying a challenge."_

"_Nevertheless, it's **interesting**_. _I think you genuinely believe you're good on top – if you know what I mean."_

"_That's, that's a legit thing?!"_

"_What are you blushing about? If you're so secretly kinky, that blush is quite the deceiver~ I like it too."_

"_I never even **said **I was secretly kinky! And let's pause this topic for a second – I need to know how we got wrapped up in-"_

"_Prove it."_

"_...What."_

"_Undress me. Love me physically. Let me see who wears the pants – theoretically."_

"_...Now that's a challenge!"_

"_And you'll accept it?"_

"_Klavier, I don't think of myself as secretly kinky. However, even I have these desires now and then when I see you asking for it..."_

That was the conversation that started it all. And honestly, our favorite(?) loud and eager in more ways than one attorney didn't know what he had just started. It was almost leading to a headache if he attempted logical thought.

But then he stopped using his logical part of the brain. His thoughts were dipping straight into notes of how turned on he could get just by watching Klavier sit there beaming innocently and awaiting to be stripped.

But he was so not going to ask questions. **It was too amazing for questions, so shut up logic**!

The conversation starting it all eventually led into what Apollo was certain would be questioned later, but right now the could only think about skipping the dinner they ordered and just pouncing on him atop his own bed to the point where he really would have washed new blankets in advance if he knew this was going to happen.

It wasn't happening too fast; Klavier making it slow on purpose just to see how far his 'innocent' boyfriend would go when it came to his own partner being a cockblock. He lied there, trying not to respond too much when Apollo swooped in and stole more than a few kisses. But that was all he seemed to be doing.

He'd roll his titled (by Apollo – no stealing) 'pure aqua' eyes and mutter an 'amateur' quip under his breath. But then again, Klavier wasn't surprised if he had never managed to take someone to his bed before. There was a reason he blushed when raunchy topics approached, right?

He was clean and ready to be molded into shape as if taking his first step to the defense bench, right?

I mean, just look at his face. Even in that moment as he yanked the jacket zipper down, he couldn't hide the mildly-wary look in the eyes or the red shamelessly coloring his skin.

Innocent. That was all there was to it. But don't worry, because he was here to-

...Wait a second.

"Herr Forehead?!"

"Don't you like it? Personally, this is sensitive spot on me. Just a tip."

Well, the jacket was unzipped at long flipping last. But the unanticipated part came in when Apollo slid his hand underneath his shirt and at first seemed to be heading toward the chest.

**NOPE**. By the way, that's not a proper word. Just sayin'.

...Because Apollo had the strategy to fake him out: hand quickly making a sudden twist and lowering down to slip beneath the waistline and heading south.

"You're shivering, Klavier. I thought that only happened when I merely smiled?" And not a damn was given that day. Though Apollo did slip up with an accidental cocky smile.

Klavier glanced anywhere but the smile, his own expression reverting to one trapped between anticipation and concern.

"_Well, as long as he doesn't find out I've never done such things with a guy...I'm safe. Still, I wonder how my innocent Herr Forehead suddenly gained control over that cute blush reflex!_"

Their actions carried on for several more minutes, each getting closer and closer to some form of action. Did Apollo dare take it where Klavier thought he was taking it? No one truly knew in that moment – but it felt so good. So flipping good, man.

I don't think it's safe for to work to mention the ahem, magic. But let's just say magic must have been involved for Apollo to at least have some understanding of what he should do to build up for the better. Let's just put it this way and call it a day: Klavier suddenly understood what was going on in the head of lucky young ladies he had lied with before.

...Not that, ahem, he'd brag about something so-oh look, topic change!

When things were particularly steaming as far as their temperatures went, when Klavier managed to finally react and circle arms around his body to pull him over for much-wanted lip contact, when they were practically exchanging stuff I can't mention in case of those who are easily-disgusted from saliva, then-

**BRRRRING! BRRRRRRIIIING!**

Dear flipping-! What kind of ringtone was THAT?!

Apparently, it was actually a legit thing. Apollo was so startled, he actually threw himself backward...to the floor.

Klavier hurriedly lifted himself up and reached for his forgotten phone. He briefly gazed down at Apollo on the floor, then a good hint at what kind of thoughts had been in his head when they were going on explorations through mouths, he shakily pressed a button and shoved the phone to his ear.

"Mr. Gavin, the food you ordered will be delivered shortly! Our deliveryman had a flat tire, I'm sorry to report...but you'll eat soon!"

Klavier sighed heavily, suddenly not very interested in the food they took out with modern convenience. But did find the strength to smile and say casually – "I understand, and thank you for calling. Perhaps we'll **both **get somewhere in the next few minutes."

"I don't understand your comparison...?"

* * *

_**THE SECOND TIME~**_

"_What do you think of massages, Herr Forehead?"_

"_Massages? Oh God, I CAN'T BEGIN to describe what I would do just to raise enough money to go and have this stress forever removed from-"_

"_Oh, you've never...?"_

"_Not really. I'm constantly low on money – the joys of being a defense attorney in a world stacked against our kind."_

"_Hmm, I would wager you feel so positive about the idea that you'd accept my offer..."_

"_Klavier, where are you going with this?"_

"_My hands are capable: they've slid up and down and gripped more guitars than you can guess. I'm just saying; maybe you would consider my work?"_

"_You're obviously still discouraged our first...moment...was interrupted."_

"_Herr Forehead, it was so uncalled for! ...Not that I'm taking it hard."_

"_I guess you want to massage more than just my back, right? It's a sneaky way to figure out where to press that will make me scream in a good way."_

"_You make it sound so dirty."_

"_Should I take it you like it?"_

"_...With that cocky smile worn as you say it? Of course I like it~"_

"_Then it's settled! So, uh, how about my bedroom?"_

"_No, I just wanted to...massage. We could do it on your living room sofa and it would turn out just the same."_

"_Hmm, well I'd think we need more room."_

"_For your pleasured reactions?"_

"_For practical reasons, Klavier! P-r-a-c-t-i-c-a-l! For example: I could get a bruise if I roll off."_

"_Because you'll like it so much."_

"_We shouldn't talk like this at the agency, you know! Someone could easily walk in and-"_

_Athena blinked with curiosity, even smiling as she shoved her head through a large gap in the doorway. "What's all of this I'm overhearing about massages and practical things?"_

_Apollo promptly froze with horror, at first sputtering nonsense before gathering composure and chuckling nervously whilst a hand flattened his spikes._

"_We...we were just talking about...a movie!"_

"_Ah, you're making homemade porn?"_

"_Don't you have work to do?!"_

"_You brought this upon yourself by daring to talk dirty at your own workplace." Athena warned him, suddenly wearing a no-nonsense expression. When the couple just gawked, she shrugged her shoulders and left them alone to continue._

When all was said and done, everyone's favorite(?) attorney accepted the offer. Leading to this:

"I shouldn't have agreed!"

"Oh, am I not removing your stress?"

"No, I love this! I just wish I could find a way to make up for it – I know you'll want something else in return...but I'd rather not think about chaos right now!"

"There's that raise in tone again~"

"There's that singsong again."

"And it's mocking me too? Well, **someone **is losing their stress~"

"Actually, I feel like I suddenly don't care about that bill I received today." To further draw out confessions, the hands kneading into his shoulders worked harder. Apollo smiled dreamily, babbling, "What does it matter if the water bill exists? It's only one person using it in this one apartment, so I'm going to wait as long as I can and not hassle Mr. Wright about the pay."

"That's the best lifestyle to own." Klavier let his eyes travel a little lower to try and get a glimpse of his dreamy smile when he turned his head. He didn't see a lot, but it did send a grin on his own face.

"By the way, I wonder if you've ever given one of these to someone. I didn't expect it at first, but just seem so...experienced?"

"No, this is the first time I've done it. Don't you feel special?"

"You know I'm too high on this relaxation to call you out on that."

He should have seen that coming.

The moment carried on for a little while longer, and Apollo was further and further losing his stress. Klavier felt good about this; he so expected it to go somewhere good. He tried to set the mood right – taking advice from an old movie on the TV.

...You have to start somewhere, right?

The old movie suggested that a good mood of little to no lighting, peaceful silence, and experienced hands were the only things he needed to bring the receiver under his spell.

...And sooner or later, it would not be **only **a massage. If know what I mean.

Well, Klavier expected silence when there was no conversation. Unexpectedly, his Herr Forehead was quite...**vocal **about when one turned him on. As the minutes came and left, he was practically a poster boy for those noises in what only could be awkwardly described as smut.

He'd be lying to himself if he stood there affectionately releasing his stress and said those little grunts and moans weren't triggering something. And Klavier didn't think of himself as one to lie anyway.

Even though he expected intimacy to leave him utterly flustered and uncool about it, Apollo's next command was quite specific and made the hands falling down his spine freeze entirely.

"Stop resisting. I can sense you're thinking about feeling up my backside – you may as well do it now while I'm so relaxed."

"Oh, I wasn't-"

"Lying won't help."

"...I wasn't necessarily thinking about it. Um, but seeing as I was invited to it, well, I can certainly cooperate!"

Hey Klavier, you may want to cover up some of that obvious eagerness. Right there, just...no?

...Hmm, on second thought, **carry on **high on support!

Klavier didn't think his back would back under any unplanned pressure. After all, he didn't weigh too much for his age. Ahem, not that he'd ever state his weight. He took full advantage, slowly draping himself over Apollo and forgetting about merely coping a feel of the backside.

Don't get him wrong; he definitely enjoyed seeing something back there. But right now, he thought Apollo would be okay with whatever the hell he decided: which tuned out to be pressing long smooches to the back of his neck.

The sexy grunts below him didn't fail to reveal Apollo's opinion. Hell, they encouraged him to do this as long as they could before the neighbors started banging broomsticks on the ceiling.

And so the seconds slowed and the rest of the world didn't matter. Klavier started out sucking a little too much on the back of his neck, somewhere along the way they began embracing and secretly trying to look for appropriate places to touch, and they wound up getting a little too hot for their own good.

So Klavier "helpfully" suggested Apollo remove his pants. Ahem, they would not be necessary for anything upcoming. It turns out that our favorite(? ? ?) guy had the same idea and was already unzipping-

_**VRRRR. VRRRRR.**_

...Unfortunately, those vibrating noises weren't ensuing from action. Klavier had his cellphone on silent, and was quick to excuse himself from their position and sat up and placed the setting on 'speaker'.

"I hear you're doing porn with my employee." Klavier and Apollo wore the same, utterly confused expression and gazed at each other searching for knowledge as to why Phoenix was doing this. "...I hope I'm not too late! There are a lot of books on the subject, but seeing as you probably rushed into this without thinking, I'm going to read off the pros and cons of wild and crazy sex."

"Just end now, world." Apollo muttered with newly-acquired misery, gazing hopelessly at the ceiling.

Meanwhile, Klavier felt like if he did open his mouth he would wind up groaning about all of this. To keep calm, he sent Apollo a comforting smile and brushed a palm over his knee.

"Ahem, it should be mentioned that this should be good for you. Especially you Apollo; you probably think going down is the same as an escalator ride. Well...it's not. At least, that's what I read."

"Seriously, why do you let him torture me?"

But the worst had yet to come, which happened to be this: "Not that waiting until your twenties to lose your innocence is a bad thing! I understand, I mean you never had anyone to teach the benefits of a little frisky activity now and then. I'm sure Klavier doesn't mind that you probably will shout out a big 'objection' during the climax, but it happens to the best of us-"

"GOODBYE, MR. WRIGHT!"

**SPLASH.**

Klavier's cellphone was now drowning in a very large glass of water.

And not one porno was made that day. Humph, that's quite the bummer.

* * *

_**THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM(?)~**_

"_...Everyone has friends who take sadistic pleasure in humiliating them, Herr Forehead. Please, let's forget about all of that and get together tonight!"_

"_Not after that! I can't believe you're still talking to me after being convinced I have no worldliness...and the fact your cellphone died in a sacrificial manner."_

"_I don't care if you've never gotten lucky~ Hey, don't forget that I'm utterly clueless about how to seduce other guys. I don't even know if my tongue or fingers should act first."_

"_You're...not lying? Oh come on, there has to be some catch-"_

"_No, there is no catch to this. I've had my share of beautiful ladies in bed. And I remember all of their names...and I wonder if Jessica still has that cute little birthmark on her toned thighs-"_

"_Oh, well thank you for comforting ME!"_

"_I, I thought you wanted me to confess things I've seen in the past. Oh, you didn't? Well, this is awkward..."_

"_Maybe you should get a payphone, call 'Jessica', and give her pleasure instead of me."_

"_Oh Herr Forehead...you should know that payphones are practically extinct~"_

"_And that's sad."_

But despite any awkward and humiliating revelations, hostility hadn't entered the picture. It took a lot of face-to-face persuasion, and Apollo was quite thankful that they were the only occupiers of the agency.

As a matter of fact, he suddenly announced that to Klavier upon full notice: "Ah, we're utterly alone with a big room all to ourselves. Trucy should be in school, Athena is at the park, and Mr. Wright claimed he had to return the sex education book back to the library."

"It's only the two of us, Herr Forehead." Klavier leaned closer, letting a hand sensually crawl about his shoulder blades. "May I change the topic by commenting on how your forehead looks sexy today?"

Apollo yanked himself from the trance, effectively killing the mood by gesturing to said forehead. "It's a new soap I'm trying. But if you ask me, it's making dryer areas appear in the light."

Nonchalantly, the shoulder beneath his roaming palm shrugged. Apollo still hadn't shown a trace of being flustered, instead merely smiling in a default manner.

"While we're still confessing things: have I ever mentioned I don't understand why you're gaining some kind of forehead fetish?"

Oh, he was so stalling the best he could. It was still cute, however. Klavier continued to grin at him, mentioning, "Because I see it so often, it's permanently engraved in my mind."

"The same could be said about your grin." Apollo dropped the literally hot gaze, eyes falling to his arm as he fidgeting and brushed over it. "We could...resolve this tension, at least for a few minutes."

"Finally!"

Apollo immediately looked back at him.

Klavier said nothing else, just clasping hands to his mouth with horror at the too-eager comment of his.

While the freaks are away, bring on the foreplay~ See, that sounds **worse** than a sudden "finally".

Dodged a bullet there, am I right?

* * *

"C'mon, Boss! You know that she was interested in you!" Athena practically shouted this to the world, effectively causing an approaching Phoenix to nearly stumble and lose composure. "When a librarian lets her hair down and gives you bedroom eyes, you know it must mean something."

"Well, I just know I'm happy you arrived when you did." Phoenix managed to restore himself, standing with much posture now and sending hr a relaxed smile. "She probably thought I was experienced because I had that book, but thankfully you arrived and distracted her."

"Yeah about that...why didn't you flirt back? She was attractive after the hair fell down – you know, from a male point of view. Not...mine..."

"Well, I didn't want to disappoint her. I know I look like quite the scandal, but I'm a blank canvas in reality."

Athena merely sent him a look, one void of any opinion revelations. To which, her boss just brushed past and then put a hand on the knob.

"Anyway, we have a lot of stuff to get done today. I'm starting to **hate **the way the light creates a glare on the TV."

"Oh yes, I noticed it three weeks ago! Hey, we should ask Apollo if he can go out and buy new curtains to replace the old."

"That could work, Athena. But I don't know, he's been very worn out lately. I think it's **that **season again."

"Oh God. Not...**that**."

"I'm afraid so."

"...That's why you bought the sex education book?!"

"That's also why we overhear **Apollo and Klavier **from **outside this door **sounding like a **badly-directed** adult movie." The noises suddenly ceased, and were quickly replaced by hastily-rustling clothes and terrified comments. Phoenix smiled quite slyly, leaning his closer to the door. "There's no need to act like busted teenagers over it, but you may want to clean up before we enter?"

"Go walk off a cliff, Mr. Wright."

"Apollo, I know you love me and all, let's not say that while Klavier's in earshot."

* * *

_**LET'S HAVE AN EARTH-MOVING FOURTH TIME~**_

"_I'm sorry they're so...ugh...why are you bothering to confront me about it again?!"_

"_Because I've never experienced such a challenging situation in my love life. I like it."_

"_But Mr. Wright's comments, and, and the..."_

"_Now, now, we can't blame their reactions. I think we had it coming by choosing to get turned on among an office that smells like lemon-scented disinfecting spray. Speaking of your work place, have you noticed that HORRIBLE glare on the television?!"_

"_Klavier, maybe this isn't going to work. It doesn't matter where we go, I think the world is trying to say that-"_

"_But worry not, I have an idea: we should choose a place faraway from your friends."_

"_...Hmm, that could work. Where do you want to go? I hope it doesn't involve flying, maybe we could go on a cruise-"_

"_I was thinking of a local establishment. Perhaps a hotel?"_

"_But there's people in rooms next to us...!"_

"_On a cruise ship, people would be in the **same room** as us."_

"_I don't know. I want to be able to show you how I'm feeling – you know I HORRIBLY FAIL with words –, but I don't know if I can act as I should with people around."_

"_I want to show you I'm serious; I won't let thin walls prevent that. If anyone else has a problem, they can put in earplugs."_

"_Maybe, uh, maybe we can choose a hotel with thick walls. I'm sure this isn't two-thousand two, the walls should have evolved to have more strength!"_

"_Ah, there's the hot-blooded side I love! Yes, we'll find a hotel with modern day walls and have a good time! Oh, but I can't do it tonight because of going out to lunch with a girl."_

"_What?!"_

"_She's, she's just...why are you running away? She's the sister of an old friend and she's new in town, oh wait!"_

Apollo was weary, he didn't know if he could do this after all of the fails.

Nevertheless, it was a fateful night when he allowed himself to be whisked away to a hotel with him. If they couldn't show each other a good time in an ideal location...it would have to be inside a filthy hotel.

Except, bizarrely, this hotel was quite clean and utterly coordinated! Apollo almost felt ashamed to be using this hotel for sex-related actions only, it would be kind of a waste to use that pool and or the massive work out area.

But that wasn't his problem, not after they checked in and scurried to their room.

As a matter of fact, Klavier even overdid it by scooping Apollo in his arms to whisk him away bridal style!

...But they both fell to the part of the floor with no carpet. We're going to hold back some points.

Once arriving to the room, no time was wasted. This should happen, and now could be no better time! Please excuse the random usage of present time.

**Click**. The room was immediately engulfed in darkness. It was so thick, but Klavier was certain he was doing this right as he put a bit of a swagger in his walk and approached Apollo.

...Okay, so maybe he had to grope around before managing to find him. But he did grope the correct thing after all; "Give someone a warning before you smack their ribs!"

...Smack to the ribs – goodbye, points...

But when all was said and done, they managed to shoo the awkwardness away. With the seconds passing by and the silence becoming almost intimate with no eavesdroppers, oh yeah.

And before Apollo even had the conscious knowledge, he had captured his escort by means of arms tight around the frame and was leaving kiss after kiss against his neckline. Hey, it was **that **time, okay?

And by the tenth minute, things had been getting more...how one may say "fascinating". There had been roaming fingers traveling as much as they could, lips getting almost a beating out of the constant contact, maybe two articles of clothing had left the party.

By by the thirteenth minute, the bed was getting visitors. And that was also when Apollo was just intoxicated enough to crack open his eyes for a second with them now adjusted to the thick darkness...he began to lower his hand from his waistline and down toward his crotch.

* * *

The lobby was quite empty tonight, she noticed. Not even one soul was at the cola machine or snitching more than one cup of coffee. But that was okay, maybe she could even sneak away from her shift and go home to run that steamy bath she kept promising her wife...

Her tired, barely-open eyes shifted and glanced at the nearby potted flowers. They were starting to die now, and one of them still had petals that were teetering on whether or not they'd stay or fall.

"Geez, just shake it off already."

She took in a long, exhausted breath and then rubbed her back tenderly. The "woman in charge" as her boss called her, she found it was so horrible having to stand here at the desk every night. She should rebel these days, it's not like anything exciting happens-

"EEEEEARTHQUUUUUUAKE!"

"The woman in charge" immediately stumbled in place, a briefly horrified gasp ensuing as she lifted her gaze.

One of the customers, a middle-aged man dressed in tropical-pattern clothing and wearing a safari hat, he zoomed over to the desk and fell face down atop it.

"Sir?! What-...is there...there's an earthquake?!"

The guy lifted his face and seemed pale and sickly. He then threw out his index finger in the direction of the elevator he had come from. "There's a damn earthquake in the room next to me! RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIFE AND DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!" He promptly readjusted his hat, gathered his suitcase, and bolted the hell out of apparent harm's way.

...It should be mentioned, he didn't pay.

* * *

Panting was the only thing he could do when he tried to speak, but Klavier managed to at least get this in, "You're better than I expected." He crawled a little closer and brushed sweaty hair from his face just to ensure his eyes were working well under the darkness. "Herr Forehead...where did you learn how to do it like that?"

Apollo had been really pushing himself too, but he sounded as if not one sweat was broken. He still breathed a little deeper, casually replying, "When you grow up practically on streets, you see a lot of wood in your lifetime." He fell back down near him and his grin was practically able to be felt rather than seen. "Anyway, I take it you're finally satisfied now?"

Once more, Klavier had to take a breath and shakily nod his head. He still couldn't speak properly, he was utterly amazed by what just happened...it was still kind of a sweet blur.

Like, did that actually happen? He was living and breathing, given the front row seat to see and not to mention feel such a thing?

And exactly...what **kind **of streets did his "unskilled" Herr Forehead grow up on to see this wood, hmm?

Did that mean he had performed this for another-

"Come on, it wasn't anything special! Let's just return to what we were doing before-"

"No, no I can't believe you did that! You don't look to be skilled in-"

"Yeah, well, I wanted it to be a surprise..."

"I'm surprised!" Klavier randomly threw himself to the edge of the bed and then gestured to it in general. "It's just so hard to imagine that you could give in to my perfectionist fantasies and actually **move this bed to the other side **by yourself!"

Apollo found himself suddenly a little flustered, fingers raising to brush his hair and listen to him gush and gush about his "feat". And let's be honest, did he really deserve that much? It was only shoving a piece of furniture against the floor!

That smoothed wood on the headboard wasn't exactly impressive, if you want the truth told...

"But thank you for doing it, Herr Forehead~ This bed looked HIDEOUS close to the window. Now that we're away and closer to the wall, I would like you to touch my-"

**RING. RING.**

Their eyes lowered to the phone that once had been at the bedside. Both exchanged concerned expressions, but in the end, only Klavier had the nerve necessary to cross the room and answer.

"YOUR LOVE-MAKING IS DESTROYING MY PAYCHECK!"

That sounds like an awesome comment to jack up and turn the context inside out. Just saying.

Apollo merely reclined like something of a relaxed being, only mildly interested as he turned his head toward the chaos. Keep it up, you really shouldn't care about the haters.

When the angry gasps ceased on the other line, Klavier crushed the silence by means of chuckling lightheartedly.

"We haven't managed to remove our clothes yet."

Still, "the woman in charge" breathed deeply and then offered her opinion: "I'm sorry, but one rule at this hotel is about peace and no loud noises. If you do not follow them, I have no choice but to kick you both out with whatever clothes you happen to be wearing...but you still have to pay."

"I'm not wearing pants."

"Carry the money in your mouth. You have one minute until I remove you both by force!"

"Oh, is that a promise?"

"I'm married – married to another woman."

"...I'll have the money right there. Thank you for letting us stay prematurely!"

Ffffffail...

* * *

_**LOCKED UP IN THE FIFTH TIME~**_

"_...Well, would you like to stay over tonight?"_

"_Ah, what? I'm sorry, the computer was too loud...what did you say?"_

"_Do you want to stay over at my house tonight? I mean, I know it's forward. But when all's said and done, we can make it a date night and finish it off with a literally-steamy bath."_

"_My ears are no longer what they used to be. Ahem, can you speak up?"_

"_You heard everything! You know that I'm trying to suggest we go to my house to get away from these troubles and perhaps finally satisfy this craving I'm having!"_

"_You caught me, Herr Forehead. Well, as for your reward...I'll be your captive tonight."_

"_Geez, you make it sound so dirty! I wasn't even thinking about it like that, though the mental picture of you stark naked in handcuffs and strawberries is nice."_

"_I do have that effect on people. Wait...strawberries?"_

It was always a question of what perverted fantasies could go through his mind. Klavier had a stable understanding of what turned him on like a lamp, however, it seemed Apollo disliked revealing his own fantasies. Why do you think he was constantly trying new topic-starters? He really wanted to narrow down each Fetish Of The Week.

Apparently, this new one involved kinky handcuffs. And strawberries.

I...have no problem with strawberries. Many would agree; they're kind of suggestive if you eat them correctly.

And so, Klavier managed to leave work one fateful afternoon with handcuffs. How he did acquire them? Well, he took a pair. And then was caught red-handed. He had to explain that he was using these to turn on his boyfriend – they would be returned the following day.

"Clean them before returning." And that was all the generic guy who caught him said. Before waving him off on his quest to get lucky.

So the night carried on with no action at first. At first, Klavier arrived and they performed simple little gestures of affection. For example: Klavier did one of those sneak attack hugs...he found up knocking both him and Apollo face-first into the sofa. The decided to lie entangled and watch television...which was some animated movie that was quite mature in its tear-jerking moments.

Okay, he did cry once. Don't judge him.

By the time the movie's credits began rolling and an annoying pop song ensued, the TV was turned off and abandoned. With that, Apollo gazed upward with half-open eyes and slyly asked if he had any surprise in store with those handcuffs he dragged in earlier.

"Finally!" Klavier couldn't help it. He was emotionally touched by the movie, but now he needed something to get his blood pumping fast. He briefly stuffed a palm across his mouth to prevent him from running damage control on that comment.

It didn't take a long time to reach the hallway. As a matter of fact, that was only a thirty second walk. Along a narrow hall filled with random photos and the occasional houseplant, they eagerly traveled to reach the bathroom.

But Apollo was feeling...generous. And by generous, well, what else?! He began to slow his walking pace and ultimately stopped before reaching said room. Klavier didn't know why, merely watching with curiosity. But all was revealed when that t-shirt he had been wearing was removed hastily.

* * *

"Oh, you're eager tonight!"

"Yes, but I didn't mean to make you hit your wrist on the door. Are you okay?"

"A hurt wrist won't stop me, Herr Forehead. Remember: I'm your prisoner tonight, and these cuffs binding me to you prove that."

"I guess so, well, let's get started!"

"That's the spirit!"

"...Shouldn't we remove these before actually getting in the water?"

"Well...if you want to set the mood right, we could take the first half to the bed and the second part in here."

"Sorry about all of the logic, I'm just...wary. I know the world doesn't seem to be a fan, so I question how this will work-"

"There is no need to. I understand, but that's why the world needs to shut up. Now then, would you like to visit that sensitive spot beneath my ear?"

They had been wrapped up in this – how one may say – makeout session for what seemed to be hours. It probably wasn't hours, but there was no one counting here. Apollo remained wary, and yet he was enjoying giving his concerns a non literal middle finger and letting the natural senses take over. He normally liked to be professional, even utterly composed like none of these crazy people in his world could affect him.

Klavier affected him. The senses were more than a little shocked with being overwhelmed too much.

But not one care was given to the senses. You may as well leave town, senses.

Has anyone ever mentioned the restricted movement when they were bound to another by handcuffs? No? Well. Obviously the two only had one free hand and it was a little challenging to find a comfortable position. Apollo couldn't reach highly necessary locations and Klavier attempted to help by adjusting his position.

...Yeah, this wasn't going to work. As kinky as the whole "master and servant" act is, let's just leave sadistic pleasure out of the affair.

"Ugh, I give in to logic!" Apollo immediately released his hold around the neck of his self-claimed servant and fell down to the mattress. "Klavier, do you realize that I have been shoved in the stomach by your knee numerous times? If I weren't in this crazy world, I'd be bleeding internally!"

No, no, no the idea could not fail! Failure in romance wasn't something Klavier had encountered – a lot of **lucky **females would fight to tell you that. Hmm...what are they doing these days?

Fighting back his face revealing concern, Klavier let the pitiful freedom the cuffs offer give out and cause him to meet the mattress with him.

"Perhaps, **Master**, there are other ways to save the evening?"

Oh holy-did he seriously hold a reason to say it that way?! Apollo was surprised; there was something quite longing in that tone of his, but "master" was emphasized with much fondness. It was kind of like verbal love-making. Wait, that's it! Non-physical lovemaking!

Apollo promptly rose to a comfortable, mostly slumped position. For what seemed like the first time, his default smile had warped into that of something seductive. Especially when his eyes half-closed like he was starting to get a fantasy in his head. Oh geez-! Hide the innocent!

"Well, **Servant Klavier**, we could always envision in the action in our heads and take it out on ourselves."

Er...that was a FORM of seductive dialogue.

Klavier just shrugged his shoulders, silently noting that this was Apollo Speak for: "I'm seeing a dirty image of you in my brain, now I'm going to pleasure myself to it if you don't mind watching."

…Actually, he kind of wanted to watch.

* * *

**RRRRRRING! RRRRRRRING!**

"FOR THE LOVE OF-WAH!"

**THUD!**

Another lawyer down for the count; who's next? This phone wants revenge, damn it!

All Phoenix was aware of consisted of this phone he found abandoned wouldn't stop ringing in the middle of the night! It was eleven, and he just wanted to get a few winks in before he was forced to attend the lame activity Apollo penciled him down for next weekend.

Apparently, Apollo didn't appreciate his mad skillz with channel surfing and wanted him to take up a "worthwhile hobby" at a lame hobby-searching store.

..."Skillz" totally being the intended spelling – **deal with it**.

"Aw, I guess I SHOULD answer it. For all I know, it's a victim of abuse!" With that admirable logic, Phoenix peeled himself apart from the carpet and reached an arm to grasp the horribly-dated speaking...thing...of the phone.

...It was from, ugh, the very primitive year of two-thousand...

"Hello, you've reached the line of Ace-"

"How many times have I told you about that title sucking?!"

"Yeah, I don't know...hey the room looks orange to me right now...I'm tired as-"

"Mr. Wright, we can talk about your assumed color issues later! Ah, you see, I'm...I'm in a predicament."

"Couldn't get it up?"

"...We're finished with this conversation!"

"Don't be humiliated about it. Just...think about Klavier acting out a shampoo commercial or something."

"...Why am I still letting you babble?"

"But to REALLY make it work, you've got to imagine that ad coming to life and absolutely making choirs of angels scream while his fingers-"

"Hey, I'm still too young to have that problem! ...Oh my God...what if I'm-"

"Well if you managed to either get it up, or not scream in embarrassment when he's the one who lets you know it's up, sounds like you won the game. Good for you, Apollo!"

"Actually...I called because I handcuffed us together. See, we were going to take a bath and then got sidetracked on the bed, but then he started flirting and I pinned him down, we CAN'T do anything because of the restricted movement."

"...Um..."

"Long story short, Klavier 'let me do the romantic planning' Gavin flipping FORGOT the key!"

"**Herr Forehead, don't be angry about it~**" A familiar voice whined in the background.

Phoenix eventually took the hint that he had to unlock the couple from unfortunate events. But he certainly made this situation hilarious – for him and no one else involved – by cracking quip after quip about their predicament while unlocking.

And then, Klavier was quick to gather his clothes and flee Apollo's house before the mortification began.

He left Apollo and Phoenix. Because of this, a suddenly-mockingly-seductive Phoenix turned to his employee and asked in a low voice if he wanted to play "one-handed games".

...And not one slumber was enjoyed that night.

...But experts are still trying to interpret why Apollo didn't agree to join the "one-handed games".

...Some straight guys would have agreed. Not that, not that I would know their names.

* * *

_**SHAKING UP YOUR WORKPLACE WITH THE SIXTH TIME (DON'T COME KNOCKING!)~**_

"_Maybe we really should wait. Look, don't send those exaggerated doe eyes at me! Of course I WANT to...but the world DOESN'T want it."_

"_Herr Forehead, you would be amazed to know how much effort I would NOT go through for a very attractive man with enough power to turn me gay."_

"_...What does that even-"_

"_It means you're better than a man like that~ I really want to treat you good, I want you to know by physical contact how much I'm utterly hooked."_

"_Don't say that so loudly..."_

"_Oh, are you scared someone may overhear?"_

"_Well, we are in your office. I don't think your reputation-"_

"_My reputation can take a nose-dive off a cliff for now. I think you need someone with strong hands to massage more than just your back...right here and now."_

"_Klavier...ah...you can't always say things like that and expect-what am I saying?! Okay, we'll give it a chance!"_

"_Now that's what I like to see!"_

"_But let's be quick about it."_

"_Many lucky girls would tell you that I do not work 'quickly'. Lasting and meaningful is the way to do it, Herr Forehead."_

"_...You do realize that I am not amused when you mention having a lot more experience than I do, right?"_

"_...Okay, you can have it YOUR way."_

"Having his way" indeed.

It was only two minutes after that conversation when action finally began. The two approached, and were soon locking arms around the other securely and happily engaging in what you're free to call a makeout session.

Were sparks rising? Allow one to combat with: is the sky blue? Yes, a certain wave of heat was suddenly consuming them from head to toe as the natural instincts began to...you know. There's no purple prose here people; they wanted sex.

Quick, emotion-fading sex...but sex all the same. And hey, how many times can you say "sex" in this context without sounding severely dirty-minded on one thing only?

With passion put into each little kiss, Apollo found himself really liking this. I mean he really, really liked this. Within seconds, he hadn't a thought other than wanting to prove to him that he wasn't lame to encounter just because he hadn't done this before. His roaming hand began to slowly go up around his shoulders, low against his backside, and very low down his legs.

That little buckling motion he felt the legs lock into when he did grope there? Day equals made, it's simple math.

Maybe Klavier had a logic by this point: the thought of possibly being caught made him want to do this even sooner than normal. The rush of thrill was high, he wanted to do this and do it right. Even if fireworks wouldn't be set off – yet, of course –...at least he felt something. Apollo didn't have to guess that his logical boyfriend could see through the pale disguise and now he really wanted something.

And so no time was wasted. Apollo was taking risks today, heavily eagerly shoving his torso against Klavier's as if trying to send him backward. But with him suddenly taking charge, why would he ruin the moment with teasing?

Hey, he didn't call him "master" the other night for NOTHING. Wink. Wink.

…Screw stereotypes, Apollo wanted something and he wanted it – present tense alert! – NOW.

"_But if that's what you want, you'll receive it!_" Klavier had cracked one eye, just trying to gt a sneaky glimpse of his surroundings. No, he could still only see Apollo's extremely close to his own...but he felt his feet walking backward toward the desk. "_Isn't desk sex a little...overdone? I personally wouldn't mind a steaming bath involved, but I helped screw myself up on that._"

Private thoughts aside, the moment remained as hot as it could be in a literal manner. The temperature was raising from both involved, and Klavier helpfully sped up the matter by leaping and somehow landing without damaging anything in a sitting position. I don't know how that works either but let's just roll onward.

Happy he was cooperating, Apollo broke their kiss for a moment to send him one of those dorky smiles.

Then he utterly destroyed any image of being innocent by hurriedly stripping him of his jacket.

* * *

**Splash. Splash. Splash. **The water doused the dirty windows and ran down like a beautiful scene from nature.

...At least, this guy cleaning them had that interpretation. He loved his job, okay?

...Don't judge him!

**Splash. Splash. Splash. **Look at that mini waterfall, it was so shiny and breathtaking! The...let's call him Cleaning Man – to protect his rights for privacy, this guy has an image! – grinned like his life couldn't get much better as he rose what spectators could only assume has a brush on a stick and applied equally pretty soap on those stains.

You see, he enjoyed cleaning buildings powered by the government. It made him feel like he was the lead role in an awesome movie and was on a mission to flush out the bad guys who infiltrate the prosecutors' files and try to win. And you know...forget that he's just a regular guy on a platform with his only friend being the brush on a stick.

And so, Cleaning Man finally washed away the last of the soap and stared at the blinding reflection beneath. He sent it a smile of approval, before turning around carefully and lowering this perilously-high platform of his and cleaning the final set. Today, he was getting his paycheck and he wanted to spend it before lunch.

Cleaning Man began to hum casually, now on leveled on the correct area over Mr. 'loved by even the haters' Gavin. He reached for his fourth bucket of water and was prepared to hurl the contents on the window before him.

Then he froze as if someone pushed 'pause'. It was like his world paused, and his face was trapped between shock and interest...making it look as if he had a bad habit of leaving his mouth wide open and his eyes needed to be shoved back in.

He didn't, uh, see this kind of event often around here. Wow, Mr. Gavin, WOW.

From what he could see, well, he could only theorize Klavier and who-the-hell-is-that were quite close as far as straight men are usually seen.

I mean really, really close...like...who-the-hell-is-that looked to be enjoying himself so much that his underwear wasn't censoring a lot. Yes, all he was wearing was his underwear and that did not seem to make Klavier feel awkward in the slightest.

Because Klavier wore absolutely nothing, pinning him flat to the desk with one hand down the front of the unidentified challenger's underwear and apparently giving him the hand job of his life.

...You know, just a typical workday~

...Hey, you know what they say about guitar players.

...Or the people who work with pens all day.

Not enough? Okay, well, I guess Klavier just visited Apollo's belt. I...am shutting up now.

**SPLASH.** Cleaning Man dropped his bucket, it was now plummeting down to the road. This was noise was not ignored by the couple, they instantly pulled themselves out of their MOMENT and stared in the direction of their interruption with horror.

Which was kind of nice, because Cleaning Man was gawking right back. His face never changed.

If you players can correctly guess which party was more mortified in the MOMENT, you win the prize money! Choose wisely, and we will be back after these messages~

* * *

_**LET'S TAKE THIS SEVENTH TIME BACK TO YOUR PLACE, BABY~**_

"_I haven't seen you up close in three days, Herr Forehead! I miss you~"_

"_I've, uh, I've had things to do."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Shopping for...groceries?"_

"_I hope these 'groceries' did not involve dirty toys."_

"_W-what would bring on that theory?!"_

"_...I was strolling past that Quick Mart's check out and I caught one glimpse."_

"_Ffffffuuuu-I mean, Klavier, they weren't exactly for ME. They were-"  
"Please don't lie through those wonderful teeth of yours. You know I wouldn't believe them being for Phoenix Wright of all people – he obviously has a harem we haven't been introduced to."_

"_...I can't deny it."_

"_So you DID buy them."_

"_Wait, wait a second! Did you just use that harem crap as a way of luring-"_

"_Really Herr Forehead, after what I brought you to with my own hands...you decided to have sex with _**yourself**?! _It makes me feel like you're not convinced I'm capable."_

"_You're more than capable! I just, I need to, ugh! I want something to happen, but it CAN'T because the world HATES me! But if I had a choice, you'd be at my house this second and showing me a good time!"_

"_...Perfect~ Well now that you admitted your preference, I'll be over before seven PM~"_

_Apollo had been left gawking at his cellphone, wondering what just happened._

There was something, er, IMPORTANT that Klavier needed to know before deciding tonight of all nights was the time to make love.

And Apollo was more than hyped to tell him about it. He prepared a soft, yet convincing speech in his head and waited for Klavier's arrival. You see, there was a particular reason concerning why it was inappropriate for them to encounter. It's also why he had to pause in the middle of pleasuring self. ...and thank God he wasn't interrupted in the most humiliating manner possible.

But then: Klavier arrived at his house at the time of 6:51. Plans were immediately shot.

Klavier knew he'd answer promptly, and so he didn't waste time in throwing himself at Apollo and slamming their lips together. Don't interrupt him now, don't you dare attempt! He was sick of this waiting, he didn't think his body could take any more disappointment!

There is a line drawn between the real world and fantasy. When Apollo reacted instinctively by means of holding on tight by his eager partner's clothes and further deepening this kiss, well, his previous speech was cast to the wind and all he could think about was that he needed to run his fingers down every inch of this guy.

I can think of straight guys who would agree. Don't ask.

In any event, the heat was climbing perilously and the record was reaching its climax, soon a new would arise and perhaps action could FINALLY ensue. It wasn't a question to ask, Apollo was very keen when it came to the way the legs against his own quivered now and then. From the quivering legs to the hands that tightly gathered the back of his shirt and yanked with no mercy, it was safe to believe that Klavier wanted to get them to a comfortable location soon...he didn't want to make a mess of his host's spotless floor after all.

Thankfully, Apollo allowed him further inside now that he no longer spent time on a damn. He broke the kiss, just for the ability to breathe and send the pointer finger at the arch leading into his great room.

...Meh, who cares about the awkward restriction they'd have on the sofa? They nearly made love in handcuffs, I hardly think a sofa could make things any more laughable.

After a small period of moving to the great room, Klavier decided he'd fake being casual by smiling as he always did...but leaning over to slip off his shoes. And once the shoes were off, there went the socks. When he was certain Apollo had finally looked in his direction, he stretched his arms as if feeling effects of fatigue and sliding off his trousers like there was nothing to worry about.

That was when Apollo sprang into action: "You could at least wait for me to help!" As quickly as he could manage, he flicked off the light, bolted over, he wound up tripping over the discarded shoes and falling.

FFFFFFAIL.

...Actually, a complete turnabout made it feel like "a winner is you", one of those moments.

"I know you're eager, but you should let me remove my underwear before you get **that** close."

The thing is, Apollo didn't plan on that kind of job tonight. But, well, you know what they say about those with "big mouths" right? Right?!

...Officially shutting up now.

* * *

Phoenix sat alone by the TV, miserably channel surfing.

But by the seventeenth round of that absurdly-huge glare the desk lamp was sending, he finally turned it off and slammed the remote on the cushion.

"I need a drink."

That was it. He gave up, he couldn't handle this late night work with no TV to entertain! And with all hope on a fun night falling down the drainage, he made his way over to a mini fridge that existed because...**why not**?

He lowered to one knee and opened the door. Inside, there was a cute lilac cup with milk inside. Don't ask questions about the color. Phoenix tried to forget about his troubles with the ridiculous light, and rose the cup to his lips.

...The white liquid just cascaded down over his shirt and office floor. FFFFFFAIL.

Then he snapped a finger. "Right! I also need to call Apollo and ask if he finally achieved one of those yet..."

* * *

Believing them to be alone, Klavier didn't care that he was making more obnoxious moans than a hoard of pissed off zombies. Look, there's not enough purple prose in the world to cover that flaw.

Those moans were not going to turn a partner on anytime soon...wait, then about those girls? I assume they came prepared with earplugs?

Apollo really wasn't much better...um...

"_STOP TEASING AND GO FOR IT ALREADY!"_

"_Oh, that's...that's...THAT'S IT! Oh God, please, can you go as slow as possible and extend the time?"_

"_If you comment on the sweat I'm releasing, I probably won't care! Of course, you're MORE THAN FREE to touch that spot! Oh God, this room's on fire!"_

...Yeeeeah. They hadn't even really **started** foreplay good enough by the time he began shouting.

It didn't matter if he was losing his usual dedication to not letting the world faze him. Klavier thought it was cute, and that shouting was Apollo's way of communicating the good. If he had been shouting this much in only a short amount of time, he as probably doing it right.

Hmm, he liked being the one to make him shout awkward things~

After a few minutes however, it was time to exchange the roles. With confusion over who was to dominate, Apollo was quick to insist that he shouldn't get those stereotypes in his brain. Arguing that just because he was shorter than him, had a loud manner of speaking, often failed in social situations, and had skinny legs, it did not imply he was to be playing the "girl" for all of eternity.

Nope. He was going to make **him **fall into the submissive role once in a while, thank you very much.

Klavier agreed, he didn't mind holding back if it meant that he'd be living his old dreams about scoring with him. Living the dream never felt this satisfying, even if the lying down and taking it could be humiliating if anyone else were to walk in.

But that was it: no one could interfere with their personal time. In this world, only Klavier and Apollo lived and breathed...like they were the only two humans left and got really bored.

Klavier accepted his fate, reeling his hands away and resting them on either side as he lied on his back. He was waiting, waiting for the "master" to do whatever he felt like tonight.

Apollo promptly froze for a second, scratching at his neck and suddenly being torn between what would be best. He didn't know what Klavier expected; his eyes revealed **nothing**. They just twinkled like they always did, it wasn't helpful in sending a **suggestion**!

But he breathed, trying to calm down. He could do this. He would...maybe return the favor and offer a hand job too. Yeah, that could be a good opening action. If they were still up for it later, he'd probably consider more...but for now, let's start at the lowest point and work our way up.

So he made up his mind. Apollo tried to ignore his heartbeat racing with eagerness, ignore that sweat still gathered on his fingertips very unfortunately, he lowered his hand and made a quick brush to test the waters so to speak.

The palm that had been resting unconsciously on Klavier's leg however, it detected quite the shiver beneath it. It wasn't out of a chill.

Apollo's default smile appeared, then contorted into quite the dirtiest grin Klavier had seen in his life.

"_After all, I'm certain there is a REASON he has the name of a god._"

In little to no time, Apollo found that he was ignoring the awkwardness. Knowing that his touches weren't so lukewarm after all, he fully dove right into this water we mentioned for safety earlier. He even threw down all restraints and lowered his lips to his own and claimed them more than happily.

Once again, moans filled the room. This was getting nice, and they were almost amazed to note they could finish this before-

"Oh my, it's so dark in here." ...That was quite the random, womanly voice. "Apollo, do you have-"

The apparent woman cut herself off, now properly paying attention to the moans. She paused, during which Klavier and Apollo immediately froze and broke the kiss yet again and not daring to reply. That voice was...oh God...Klavier especially knew that voice, he promptly facepalmed.

The apparent woman made it to the lightswitch, she flicked it and the light instantly flooded to reveal everyone involved.

It was...er...Thalassa in a robe and carrying a tray. Last year, she had received eye surgery so it couldn't be avoided that she could see them quite easy from her position. She didn't say anything, her expression locked in bafflement and a state of speechless mind screw.

"...Company." She finished, clearing her throat afterward and removing one hand to rub over her rapidly-blinking eyes.

There's certain things mothers do not like to walk in on when it comes to their children. And no matter what age, it's always less than amusing to find out.

One of the aforementioned is sex. The number one topic parents just hate to even bring up.

Thalassa had just walked in on Apollo and Klavier in the nude, sucking each others' faces off, and her son was touching him...there...she'd rather not figure out anything else right now.

The two lifted themselves up and merely stared on like they had been caught in the headlights. But Apollo made this lovely situation more awkward, don't worry!

"Oh yeah, I wanted to mention that Thalassa...is staying over tonight..."

Thalassa finally managed to turn her head, concentrating on the floor which felt much safer. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything **enjoyable**."

"Oh, not at all!" Klavier 'helpfully' added in, flashing a smile in her direction. "I really should go home anyway, I think I left the stove on. Ah, Herr Forehead," Suddenly, he turned back to Apollo and sent an apologetic kiss to his cheek before mentioning, "We'll 'talk' later."

This becoming quite the habit these days, Klavier sprang off the sofa and hurriedly scrambled to get his clothes. After all, "leaving on the stove" is a dangerous thing.

It was in that same instant when Apollo's phone began to vibrate from receiving a text. He leaned over and picked it up, reading what had popped up on the screen.

"_**YOUR BOSS" has sent the following message:**_

_**How did the first time go? : D**_

"...I hope your TV is still blurred out!"

* * *

_**THE EIGHTH TIME IN A NO TELL MOTEL?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!~**_

"_I don't like this. I don't like this in ANY shape or form."_

"_Herr Forehead, it's the only place I think of that we can be alone from our associates and still have a bed. I don't like floor sex."_

"_Hmm, and how did you ever realize that?"_

"_...Don't give me that look~ You know you're the only one on my mind."_

"_It still bugs me. I mean, where did you even find out about this place considering it's through the woods of the park?"_

"_Well, one time Daryan and I-"_

"_TOPIC CHANGE! TOPIC CHANGE! I can't listen to this!"_

"_...Oh, you have such dirty ideas! No, we did not have sex. Actually, it was late after performing in the park and we needed somewhere to rest."_

"_If that story doesn't end with 'we had separate rooms', I'm definitely not going with you."_

"_Worry not: the rooms were separate. Though I must admit, the stare the woman at the counter gave us was more than simply unusual."_

"_...As long as you didn't give HIM love, we're good."_

"_As I've said before: you're the only guy I want to be close to~"_

"_Damn you, bracelet. There must be some lie about the night at the motel..."_

"_Hmm, I predicate you'll believe me when I give you more than what you need tonight."_

"_W-what do you mean? Are you going to...you know, **just as a suggestion**, do that thing involving your lips on my neckline?"_

"_I only will if you scream out a cute version of my name when you climax~"_

_...I'm sure there are worse things to scream during a climax – ahem, "objection", ahem –._

_And so, the date was set. After some fails, frustrated Apollo just wanted to break the cycle and break it good. He didn't give a damn if they both thought the performance was poor, it could be fixed another time. With the way Klavier turned him on like no other guy had before-_

_Wait...except for THAT guy...er...don't ask questions!_

On this special evening in July, the temperature was cooling only a little from its hottest point. The traffic had been settled, for everyone was returning him to spend either time with families or time with a wine glass. However you play the game of life, people.

Apollo didn't know if he would survive the night. Just to ensure he left a good image behind before their night of passion turned into a really terrible slasher movie, he told Phoenix that he did sincerely hope...well...maybe someday...

Look, he just wished him well. With the glare on his TV.

The couple traveled across town to the park, not expecting anyone else to be here considering a clock a few blocks down had revealed it was pushing eight. And with that, they began their real journey with locked hands through that part of the woods Klavier had recalled.

It wasn't very easy, and Apollo didn't want to find out how many branches and bugs were gathered on their clothes. No, this was supposed to be a romantic evening and unfamiliar things on clothes cannot be registered!

They were like the modern day Romeo and Juliet escaping the wrath of fate instead of family!

The only question however is, well, **which one is Juliet**? Don't throw a brick, it's not cool.

Finally, they reached their motel that notably did not connect to ANY existing road. It had doors in that paranoia-inducing outside style, the manager was probably not spending much time there, and oh God it was...it was...

Sorry to crush anyone's hopes, but it was a normal-looking motel. The colors were bright, and at least one car was parked toward the manager's office. HOPE EXISTS.

Apollo had been holding his breath. He released that and smiled with no more wariness. "If there's at least another person here, maybe we'll live."

Klavier sighed and brushed a hand over his face. "Why are you concerned about living?" With no wariness at all, he flipping smiled and threw out a hand to the building in general. "This is only a motel, everybody knows that slasher movies don't portray them correctly."

Apollo wanted to believe that. If his performance was off, it was totally going to be the on this fear of maniacs in hockey masks breaking in during the night!

Checking in wasn't hard, the man half-asleep at the counter didn't really seem to care if they made noise or not. Even when Klavier flipping leaned closer and blatantly told him not to knock on the door anytime soon.

Apparently, this guy is accustomed to random men staying at his motel and making really loud love until the walls collapse.

...Now THAT'S the attitude everyone needs! Haters, please follow his example and roll with it.

Mmm, and what about your lady customers? I assume they're making so much love that the bed can't contain it? ...**I want to know**.

Anyway, they found their room and didn't waste any time. Although, Klavier did stop to turn on a nearby lamp and then sat down on the bed.

But then...a challenge appeared! Apollo certainly was getting over his fear of motels easily, because he had somehow managed to break the rules of reality by spontaneously appearing on the other side of the bed. With quite the smile rocking on his face, he...well...he attacked!

His very desperate – don't deny it – arms were cast out in a blur, Klavier only managed to crane his neck and was soon gasping out loud when those arms reached around his torso and yanking him closer.

Wow! ...Where does the strength come from? Seriously, he's like a pole!

But now that Apollo had a hold on him, he was not prepared to leave without action. And despite Klavier's face now apparently being frozen in utter bafflement, he still shoved his slow partner down on his back. Again, wow.

And oh boy, now it was serious! Hopefully! Apollo was certainly getting in the mood fast, and I mean really...really fast. His eyes had blissfully fluttered and he was soon lost in his own desires as he sent a hell of a lot of clumsy kisses on his unprepared lips.

The one thing on Klavier's mind as he dreamily looked on? Uh... "_His forehead looks a lot less shiny up close. I never noticed that before~_" Klavier, what the hell?

But soon enough, his body relaxed and he was at an end with forcing himself to try and find a way out of his trap. Seriously, Apollo's arms were locked down on his own and his legs seemed to twist together and roughly rest atop his own. Really, what good could come from fighting this? When all was said and done, Klavier responded with fingers stretching to brush over his palms and return the kiss..

But he still kept his eyes open. It seemed like the more he stared at this massive...asset, the more it was becoming a fetish of sorts.

* * *

"Don't worry, babe. This is a nice, cozy little place."

"I don't know, are you sure about this?"

"Babe, you have no reason to doubt me. Told you last night: you're the only girl I've ever been smitten with. Sure I've dated, sorry to say that I've never managed to keep it up. But see, you're different."

"I just...well...isn't this one of those no tell motels? It IS a place where people have sex and they're never face to face again. My brother, um, he'd never stop yelling at me if he found out."

"Wow, that's the first time I've heard of an over-protective brother! Aw but don't worry babe, I'm not going to force you into it if you're not ready. But...I HOPE you'll reconsider."

"Oh, there's that perverted smile of yours. Look, it's not that I don't like you. I need some time to think about it, but this motel could be used for kissing...if that's okay."

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm still hoping you'll reconsider. Girls usually don't say no to me...but I heavily admire your strength to not give in! Strong girls are always a pleasure to encounter!"

* * *

Trademark annoying moans filled the room, they gained volume each time. Klavier didn't need that or the way his body temperature soared to know that he was liking this. Really, really liking this. If he had to be subjected to Apollo experimenting with lowering the target of his lips toward his stomach like he was doing well, they'd have to freaking unfairly WAIT just to reach this point again.

Hoping to thwart himself from reaching that point too soon, Klavier managed to give his hands a little warning stab with his fingertips. From confusion, Apollo lifted his gaze back to him mid-gentle kiss above the navel.

"Herr Forehead, let's slow down on...that." How could he describe it without revealing that so much contact on that area was strangely-arousing? He didn't know. But when Apollo began to eye him suspiciously, he found his escape to sit up a little more and send a casual grin. "I don't think you even need to ask if that was alright. But if we're going all the way tonight, let me have some time."

He wanted him to. The sudden flushing – already clear as day over his face and neck – brightened at that, and Apollo did nothing else but smile knowingly and back away to give him room.

"But why are you backing away?" It wasn't a genuinely baffled question. The room may have been dark, but Apollo swore he saw his beam burst through and in sight.

The bed squeaked and rocked toward one side, signaling the movement shifting. But Apollo didn't move from his spot, he allowed the approaching hands to come forth and target his trousers.

"Let's see if you're as ready as I am..."

"Klavier, that should be obvious."

"Well, you're certainly not as discreet as I once imagined~ Honestly, it still amazes me that you'll even let me see you naked."

"Well, I thought I should get used to it if we decided to date. No offense, but I always thought of you as constantly sex hungry."

That's...one interpretation...um, were you disappointed?"

"Look at my face. Does this look like the face of someone who doesn't like what they've received?"

"Faces can be deceiving, so I must know if you'll seriously share this tonight."

"...Why aren't you teasing me all of a sudden?"

"Oh, I'm-" Yes, why was he suddenly...serious? Klavier slid the trousers off, but suddenly he leaned away and lowered his gaze nervously. "I've had...doubts with all of these interruptions. But the fact that you still want it too, it's very comforting. I know I've done this a lot of times, but not all of those girls were angels – one had my brain screwed up for a month after she said everything was for her own benefit."

Were they actually...talking seriously in a motel? Really? Apollo almost could not believe this, but it was really happening.

But when the silence dragged on and on for one full minute, he scooted closer and then affectionately rested a head against his chest. Trying to imply that, yes, there was no reason for him to focus on the bad because he was here for the good.

He didn't dare say it aloud...he wasn't good with romantic dialogue.

But Klavier received the message, and suddenly all bad thoughts were washing away from his thought process one by one. It was so dark, he probably didn't notice the way a dreamy smile appeared on his lips.

Please fate, don't send any annoying interference NOW! He didn't want to write a script and act this moment out again for the next time they tried to have the FIRST time.

However, Apollo suddenly separated with a little of a jolt. He sent him an apologetic smile and hurried to pull his trousers back on.

His only words before temporarily leaving were; "Keep the sweet mood, okay? I'll be right back from the bathroom!"

...Really? At that moment? Klavier curled up on his side and gazed toward the ceiling with annoyance.

"_World, don't keep Herr Forehead away TOO LONG. We were on a roll with that moment!_"

* * *

"I remember the manager saying the bathroom was down the path of rooms." Apollo noted aloud, just trying to not listen at the creepy noises in the surrounding landscape. He braced himself for any sudden chaos to leap out, and began strolling down the outside hall.

It's a hallway. It's outside. No questions need to be asked.

Against the noises of creaking floors, occasional howls of wind, and branches that really needed to stop hanging off the tree already, he hummed an upbeat tune and began the shortest and most eerie stroll of his life.

But it didn't last long. Soon enough, Apollo reached it and relieved himself.

The instant the zipper was yanked up, a noise hit his eardrums out of the blue. Kind of like...groans? Not moans, just...groans. Like...what you'd make if you were displeased with an event.

He cautiously peeled open the door and gazed around, but he saw no one on the outside hallway. As a matter of fact, even the rooms that he expected to filled with loud horny teenagers were quiet. Hmm, was he just imagining things? Maybe he had watched too many movies?

Content that it was all his imagination, Apollo briskly exited and along the way he stretched his arms trying to get them prepared. How was he to use them? Maybe wrap them around Klavier and let his hands wander about? That sounded appealing-

Louder groans suddenly ensued! Apollo froze, looking around before a thunderous smack hit his ears too and he realized it was coming from the room with the door carelessly cracked open.

"Aw, babe! That's not how you do it! ...Really hurt my head on that wall..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Truth be told, I've never taken a guy's clothes off for him before."

"It's not easy for guys either, babe. You got the buttons to deal with, but we got the bra hooks!"

"Well, enough talk about buttons and bras. If you absolutely want to kiss with a little less clothing, I could make these disappear-"

"Aw no, it's fine. Just let me take it off, okay?"

At that, Apollo's jaw unhinged and fell open.

He couldn't determine the guy's voice...but the girl sounded exactly like Trucy.

* * *

**SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.**

"Geez," Klavier gazed to the ceiling, admiration crossing over his face. "Some people have performances so good that it mimics sheer destruction in noise."

**SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.**

"Polly, this is just embarrassing! ...You should have tied him up."

Wait, was that Trucy he overheard? At this motel? And...Apollo was an embarrassment to her because he wasn't tying anyone up?

Suddenly, Klaver's expression of admiration twisted to something a little darker. But just to ensure that his inappropriate theory was not correct, he really didn't want it to be correct, he hurriedly pulled his clothes back on and bolted out of the room.

When Klavier exited the room, he was immediately losing his inappropriate theory and didn't waste time in bursting into a little series of laughter.

The scene before him was Apollo looking utterly pissed off and dragging some high school student behind him who had the appearance of a stereotypical delinquent by the back of his hipster scarf.

But the best part was that this poor kid was scowling too, and he could do nothing else but fold arms across his chest in a pouty way as if he got busted by a parental figure.

Trucy caught up, but thankfully it looked as if nothing scandalous took place. She was just as fully dressed as the pouting guy, the thing missing being her hat. Notably, she didn't seem angry, her expression only showed annoyance more than anything. Probably because there was a rope back there and it would have looked more comical with overreacting.

After a few crazy moments, Klavier's laughter dissolved and Apollo stopped walking but he kept one tight grip on that hideous gray scarf the other guy wore.

"Polly, I KNOW you're mad." Trucy was quick to try and comfort. She approached Apollo and sent a soft smile, lifting palms and then lowering them in a repetition of sorts. "I never intended to do anything beyond kissing him – so there's no reason to throw him off the hallway~"

"Well, just to ensure..." Apollo craned his neck back to view her properly, he folded his arms and the angry expression across his face softened. Only slightly. "Quickly: tell me what you'd do if he touched you somewhere inappropriate?"

"I'd just hurl my foot between his legs and **crush** those important parts. You've no reason to worry, Daddy already gave me that kind of talk before." Trucy absolutely beamed by that point, eyes even flickering peacefully.

The captured delinquent on the floor of the hallway however, he stared at her as all color in his face drained.

Trucy suddenly craned her neck, noticing Klavier standing nearby. She recalled their little predicament and excitedly clasped her hands. "Hey Klavier, have you two finally done the deed yet?"

"Oh, we're still working on it." Klavier was quick to answer, laughing nervously. But whilst Apollo gawked in the background, shocked to hear him say that so damn casually, he soon sent her a sly look. "But as soon as you and your 'friend' leave, I'm certain he'll be melting right into my arms. I have a plan-"

"Wait, ah, you shouldn't spoil it for Apollo. He may be eavesdropping."

"Oh, eavesdropping is a terrible pastime. I hope he stops pursuing it."

"Me too. He is THE WORST about it..."

Apollo irritatedly released a breath and tapped a foot loudly against the hallway. "You do realize that you're only inches away, don't you?" They didn't respond, they just shook their heads and wore very unimpressed expressions as if they felt terrible about his 'terrible pastime'. Maybe a change in topic was in order.

"...Anyway, it's been a long night. Mr. Wright needs to know where you've been and about THIS." Apollo demonstrated by releasing his iron grip on the delinquent who was still pouting. He then sent him a hostile look. "I'm certain he's unable to sleep, wondering what you're spending time with in the middle of a hot summer like this!

**Creak. **"...No, Edgeworth! You're not bad at all, I just need a snack." **Slam.**

Phoenix had exited one of the closer motel rooms...wearing a suspicious wine red blazer and boxers.

Slowly, the man with very deep TV-related issues realized he felt stares on his back. He turned around and while wearing a blank face, stared at the following: Klavier, a random guy, Trucy, and Apollo...all giving him blank expressions too.

...And not a damn was given that night.

...However, the same could be said about sex. Or "kissing" in Trucy's words.

...However, we're fairly certain Phoenix got lucky. What can a man do when there's no TV?

* * *

_**COME TO MY PLACE, WE'LL RUN THE WATER, STEAM THE MIRROR, AND HAVE A GOOD NINTH TIME~**_

"_You haven't mentioned sex in a long time, Klavier. Admittedly, I'm shocked!"_

"_You make it sound like I'm obsessed!"_

"_Well, I'm sure you fantasize about it a lot. But even then, you should know that I've been thinking ever since that motel incident."_

"_Oh, I think that's your Plotting Voice~ Tell me more, I like where you're going with this..."_

"_It's risky, it's shocking, it's probably the most obvious choice we should have taken."_

"_What are you implying?"_

"_It is Friday night, and there's nothing for me to do...I was wondering if we could FINALLY have the first time in your house?"_

"_..."_

"_Klavier? Did I, did I break your mind?"_

"_...No. I'm just stunned you would request that! How could you?!"_

"_If it's offensive, oh God, just forget everything-"_

"_That's a very nice idea! I can't believe it wasn't requested sooner!"_

"_...Oh."_

"_Stop by in one hour, that will give me enough time to...warm up. If you know what I mean."_

What kinds of things were in store for him at this fateful house? Apollo wished he knew, but he wasn't scared at all. Quite the contrary; his hands were trembling with excitement for an entire hour and he was more than a little tempted to "warm up" too. But he tried to control that urge, he wanted to save this...ugh...damn you, very slow passage of time!

Luckily, just before his fantasies of what would happen grew too hide-the-innocent rated, before his twitchy hand lowered, that was when his gaze flickered to the clock and he realized the time. YES! LET'S GET IT ON AND NEVER DEAL WITH THIS SENSELESS DRAMA AGAIN!

In the span of time since they had met on that panty-raiding case we never talk about for safety, Apollo had only visited his house...once. Only one time, and he remembered how utterly overwhelmed he was when he realized that this must be the only rock star in history with a modest residence.

Seriously...Apollo's fantastically crappy one bedroom and bathroom home...beat it in comparison.

Klavier obviously didn't care about showing off when it came to his house. Of course it wasn't hideous at all, but it was so...small. And...normal. And God, this must be a trick.

Wait a second, isn't this a first time story? And we're talking about HOUSES? Yeeeesh...let's forget this.

At the door, no one was there to answer. In a very intellectual manner, the door was unlocked. So Apollo casually stepped through and decided he would travel to the bedroom as a most obvious location for his partner to be awaiting in.

That was – as simple as possible – the leading up to this particular moment:

The door to the bedroom was wide open, Apollo was standing there frozen up and looking on with twitching hands that portrayed something else prepared to come to life too.

Klavier was indeed waiting for him there, and trying with great success to act innocent about it. Like something out of a cheesy movie, he sent him a totally pure smile as the robe he adorned fluttered teasingly at the bottom.

Because he seriously had a fan in the background roaring at top speed...just to do that.

...Seems legit.

"You're a little too early, Herr Forehead." Klavier continued to smile innocently, it probably would have worked if he didn't have obvious traces of deep amusement in his eyes. Before Apollo's hungry eyes – sorry, there's no other possible description – and opened up the robe. "I seem to have misplaced my clothes. I hope that's not a **problem **for you..."

Raise your hand if you think that's a problem. Apollo certainly didn't raise his.

Apollo couldn't help it, he was kind of a pervert in that moment. But he was being led to do it! He was controlled! He vacantly smiled, eyes wandering up and down.

"Now then, I have a surprise scenario for you." Klavier further slid arms out of the robe and then sort of, well, threw that item away. "We're going to have that shared bath you suggested during our master and servant antics."

"Klavier, how long has that patch of dry skin been there?" Apollo helpfully observed this, expression going blank whilst his finger tapped at his forehead thoughtfully. "I don't think I've noticed it before, it's really-"

"Can we please just go to the bath before it gets cold?"

"Oh, right! Sorry, I just-how long has that patch of bumps been on your neck-"

"I think it happened at the motel because of the bed sheet material. Now please, I don't think I can wait longer~"

"Okay, okay. But you'll have to strip me before I go in...I think there's this pain in my joints and-"

"Oh, Herr Forehead...don't play that innocent **act** now~"

* * *

After finally stripping, our main couple managed to get to the warm bathwater before it was too late. Steam still arose and vanished into the air, the temperature wasn't too unbearable, and the bathtub was kind of deep...but definitely not made with the concept of bathtub sex in mind. I mean, it was definitely somewhat long...but their legs were still entangled.

Well, they didn't have to do this too intense considering the lack of room. Maybe a gentle round, then stop it there and pick it up after a resting period? If only he could be gentle, because Klavier was certain that he he was too much to handle just merely making out with him right now.

Seriously, he was eager after all of those fails. But in his house, no one could burst in and ruin their time together. Even Apollo seemed to be letting his hair down tonight and returning each deep smooch with one just a little more overwhelming.

This was all coming from the guy who once was caught freaking out over a rat loose in the office. Apollo didn't like recalling that moment existed, but unfortunately the whole thing had been recorded for the world's pleasure.

How long had they been in here? Were they even getting clean? Wait, that's probably not the goal. My bad.

Tightly, quite desperately, Klavier held him in one place with hands around his back. He'd kiss his lips gently once, then speed kiss, then eventually nibble and force him to open up and let his tongue inside. The whole thing was a blur, but a nice one. Apollo had actually gained a spine and would play dirty.

For example: Klavier once reeled his lips away so he could move his hand down his lower torso and begin the next part of this activity. But nope, Apollo had yet to be tired of his taste...he actually pinned his hands together underneath the water and made him ask why he did that, just so he could capture his open mouth.

Did they bump uncomfortably? Throw water in the others' eyes, hit the bathtub's edge with their chests? All of that and more: bathtub sex doesn't have a calculated reputation. But when all was said and done, this was getting interesting. With each fail came a cute, nervous chuckle from the one who caused it and thank God that laugh was a turn on in the mind of the other party.

They hadn't been in here long, maybe minutes. Nevertheless, each felt their temperature soar and heart begin to race...thinking that maybe now would be the correct time.

Apollo didn't like to be automatically labeled the "girl" just because he was insert reason for that here; though this night would be an exception. He realized that they both seemed to share a similar reaction in all of the making out...so maybe now was the time to go all the way? Or...briefly? It could be quick, but at least the memory would exist!

So he...assumed a telltale position. This sounds like a nature documentary. Bracing self and beckoning Klavier over with a finger.

Klaver stared. He blinked. He further felt himself blush like a stupid visual novel heroine.

And he didn't WANT to be so embarrassed but...he knew...geez...he'd just jack this up. Apollo was actually letting his hair down and being a risk-taker – damn it, he was being admirable and so desirable in his eyes!

"_However, I will not let myself be defeated by this. It's...it's like penetrating girls, right? You fit, thrust, repeat on speed? Or am I suddenly choking on this...I...don't know what to do to him first._" No, Klavier, don't let this break your mind! Well aware that his mind was sparking from panic, he felt really, really lame in that moment.

Of course he was ashamed about taking so long to make a decision! But...what if it was wrong? What if he did more bad than good? Apollo would **never **speak to him again, he'd **never** have-

"Klavier, really, this is starting to get uncomfortable. Uh, are you going to-"

"Yes! Yes, I am finished destroying myself!"

"...Okay?"

Apollo's words were confused, but the expression crossing his face was anything else. Actually, it was almost smug.

It was just nice to see the cool one panicking after all of that bragging. Whether it was intentional or not, Klavier bragged a little too much...and something was darkly satisfying about the fact he was just as hopeless in this moment as he was.

But Apollo wouldn't steal his moment and come out...on...top. Should have thought before that choice in description. You see, Apollo already had many a moment stolen already so he was okay with this.

When all was said and done however, Klavier was losing his confidence. He drifted a little farther away – as much as this bathtub would allow anyway – and gazed elsewhere. Really, he hated his choice in tile color...he suddenly wished it was mint again.

"Look, it's kind of disappointing if you don't **try**." Apollo said this point blank, finally turning back around to face him and send a thoroughly disappointed expression. "I guess we could end it here, but I really wanted to be as close to you as possible. I thought...you'd try to show off in front of me by putting all effort into the first time."

Klavier finally stopped hating his tile, he immediately felt (FLIPPING INTENDED) guilt and met his disappointed eyes just when Apollo began tracing circles on the tub and sighing heavily.

"It's too bad we didn't get to go all the way tonight. There's this blowing technique I heard about over the internet and I was excited to try it, but if you're not **confident**-"

The challenged accepts your challenge! ...What.

"Apollo Justice, are you **challenging **me?" The firm tone, the familiar grin making its way to his face, it was apparent that somehow this challenge had affected Klavier. He leaned very close and rested a hand over the usually-standing hair. "If that's what you're doing, then I accept. But we need some build up – so I now challenge you to find the sensitive zones you found in the dark!"

A double challenge...this isn't child's play, you know. This is serious business, especially considering that the lights had been on and now Apollo would have to remember that pattern trigger he randomly accessed in the dark.

So with a little more warm water added to the tub, then a collision of sorts, the challenge had been accepted and sounds of splashes and Klaver's annoying moans filled the room.

But all of a sudden – **THWAP. **"Finally! I FINALLY found his house!"

The window had been rudely opened loudly, and from the rooftop outside, a woman seemed to have leaped from that and was now perilously halfway lodged in said window. The woman had long, raven hair with a key that seemed to hold it together. That was the only thing that made her suddenly stand out.

"The Yatagarasu has returned to her state of origin! All of your possessions now belong to Kay!"

…..Don't ask questions – you should know it's not worth it by this point.

Kay then fully noticed the situation. The childish grin that flashed her teeth seemed to falter more and more, until gone altogether as she realized what she must have interrupted.

"Are you, er, friends of Miles Edgeworth? If so, why are you in his bathtub?"

For some reason, these aforementioned possible friends of Edgeworth were apparently...busy. Judging by the way they were naked and the hot blond guy had the other bending over the side-wait!

Wait, wait, wait, there was no way in hell this was Edgeworth's house!

...He'd probably be giving his input too, if that were the case. Kay always had her doubts when it came to the man's sexuality.

Regardless of how painfully awkward this moment was, both Apollo and Klavier were frozen as they looked in her direction with very bewildered expressions.

Kay noticed very easily, she chuckled nervously and waved the hand that was dangling over the edge. "Sorry, guys. I was looking for a prosecutor in wine red. I guess neither of you are him, and I must have the wrong house." She grunted and tried to squeeze back out, but didn't leave just yet. Kay winked dazzlingly and sent a thumbs up. "You don't have to hand over your possessions **this time**, but I swear I'm stopping by again because I really like that mini fountain in your yard!"

Klavier didn't even care that she just assumed dibs on the fountain. He was more concerned about the fact she had leaped through his window in the middle of the night...oh well, at least she was cute.

Kay continued to grunt and obviously wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She finally lowered her head in defeat and confessed her big fail.

"...I think I'm stuck. If it's not too much trouble, can you guys help a thief out?"

* * *

_**WHEN THE TENTH TIME CAN TURN MISFORTUNE INTO PARADISE, CALL ME~**_

"_...Well, at least we helped that woman out."_

"_Maybe so, but that rescue mission did ruin the mood. Klavier, I'm...I'm prepared to give up. I think this is my limit."_

"_What are you talking about so suddenly?"_

"_Just face the music, okay? We've been interrupting with everything from cellphones to raven-haired thieves, I think it's time to-"_

"_Herr Forehead, I cannot let you stand here so close and send mixed messages! ...Look at you, you're saying this so wistfully while breathing down my neck in the literal sense!"_

"_But we've tried in almost every comfortable location we could think of. And if we tried in public, there's no doubt in my mind that we'd get arrested. It makes me feel defeated to admit it, but we-"_

"_It doesn't seem reasonable how even Phoenix Wright can get lucky, but we are thwarted by the world. We're younger, better looking, and I believe I could go at it for more than one round!"_

"_It could be the world trying to tell us something. This whole thing could mean we should wait a while, but it doesn't mean we can't date normally. Some people often believe that a relationship running on sex is shallow anyway."_

"_I don't want to overdo the sex, Herr Forehead. But ONE TIME certainly isn't too much to wish for."_

"_We're probably not ready even if we think we are. Anyway, I need to go to work...so I guess I'll meet you at the restaurant tonight?"_

"_...Wait. ….Tonight will be the night. Apollo Justice, you are going to enjoy a nice meal and then you will be whisked away into a fantasy-come-to-life~"_

"_Wait, you really believe that?"_

"_Just leave it all to me~ I've been on the internet for inspiration; I have all the plans right up my sleeve."_

"_I'd think it would be out of your ass; similar to those courtroom arguments of yours."_

"_Flirting too early will get you nowhere~"_

Everybody's favorite shiny prosecutor knew exactly what he was doing.

Not with how to make love to Apollo. Quite unfortunately...

The, the other thing...the plans! Because plans in a context like this genuinely matter!

Klavier had been looking into a very informative website that was an anonymous-style place where random people who have actually made love before post brief stories of their first time and help out the younger crowd with questions.

...A twenty-five year old man who was certainly not a virgin: time being spent on website for curious teenagers. Klavier couldn't find that damn to give – it must have rolled under the desk.

Anyway, one tale heavily inspired him. So this "DudeTehLaziest" as his user name stated – **yeesh **– was in a public chat with a female user and explaining how to read her boyfriend's signals to her attempts at arousal; he also shared a story about his first time on another page. But this lazy dude was apparently not so lazy under the sheets, he actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about! And he was more than friendly, answering whatever question as best as he could. It prompted Klavier to look into him deeper.

The lazy dude explained how his first time was with a friend turned boyfriend. Long story short, he and his pre-boyfriend had been on a camping trip with some classmates but they got separated. Actually, one classmate who no one cared about got lost in the woods for half an hour. Two girls went skinny dipping. And another guy had a weak bladder so...yeah. Anyway, the already hots for each other and were stargazing on a blanket left behind.

...The lazy dude pretty much confessed out of the blue and pounced on the other one. And thank God the other one was waiting for this to happen! ...That could have been REALLY awkward!

"The answer is so simple: Herr Forehead and I should go on a **camping trip**!"

Some people take morals differently than others. The lazy's dude's original point was that sometimes you have to make your move even if you're horrified of a bad response. You need to do it, because what if you never have the chance again? Eh, Klavier wasn't one for teenage drama anymore.

"_...A camping trip?"_

"_Don't sound so disappointed~ Picture this: you and I...the beautiful stars over our heads...and my body glistening wet as I skinny dip for your viewing pleasure."_

"_I wasn't convinced until I heard skinny dipping."_

"_Ah, and that would be a 'yes' to my arrangement?"_

"_N-not that the skinny dipping picture means an automatic 'yes'! Ahem, I, I'm unsure about the mood."_

"_Don't you think the serenity of an empty, overgrown location is romantic? We'll choose one of the quieter camping grounds and be right underneath the stars and by that river. And don't worry; I'll be there to hold you if you hear eerie noises~"_

"_I...I'm sorry, I'm still thinking about that skinny dipping thing."_

"_Oh, well we wouldn't you getting turned on at work~ I'll hang up now, but I'm I've already rented a spot and equipment...so you can't say no by this point."_

"_Klavier!"_

"_Don't worry, it's going to be VERY enjoyable~"_

And with that, they departed for the woods in who-the-hell-knows-where LA. Klavier seriously did rent a quiet spot away from everyone else, camping supplies, but there was one thing he forgot about despite the fact it should have been obvious for a summer evening...

**BUZZ.**

**SMACK.**

**BUZZ.**

**SMACK.**

**BUZZ.**

**SMACK.**

**BUZZ, BUUUUUZZZZ.**

"Get it away! Herr Forehead, don't just smile like that! Help me shoo this monster!"

Still, Apollo made no movement to offer assistance. He remained sitting by the fire and looking on with a genuinely amused smile. It's not like his boyfriend was in any true danger, plus he couldn't believe this minor thing was freaking him out.

It wasn't every day when he managed to sit front row on a true Man VS Nature fight for survival. Because apparently: Klavier attracted fangirls and mosquitos. Maybe at the same time if this particular mosquito was a female.

"Klavier, just hit it."

"What do you think I've tried to do for THIRTY MINUTES? Herr Forehead, I'm sorry, this beast won't-!"

**BUUUUUZZZ.**

Still, Klavier cowered behind the tent and tried to hit various places on his arms the foul blood-hungry monster jumped on, but he wasn't very accurate apparently and it only tried harder. Seriously, this was so not helping the romantic evening they wanted to have.

Finally, Apollo's smile faded away to be replaced with an utterly stoic frown. He reached for the nearby bottle of soda he had been consuming, approached the scene, he rather effortlessly trapped the beast within.

When it was all over, Klavier cracked open his eyes. He was relieved to see the mosquito now failing to burst out of the soda. He grinned, gesturing to the trap.

"See? I told you that I wouldn't let one mishap ruin our evening."

Apollo rolled his eyes, there really wasn't anything he could argue about in that moment.

* * *

The fire crackled softly, the sun was finally fading from sight, it wouldn't be long before those stars showed themselves.

After the mosquito incident, Klavier was a little...lacking in confidence. He couldn't make love to him now...not after that pitiful corner a blood-sucking demon lured him into. But interestingly, Apollo didn't bring it up again even after he released the mosquito far away from their site. It made him wonder if perhaps...could this evening be salvaged before it began?

* * *

"Do you really want to go skinny dipping?"

"Of course! It's a great way to cool off after a long day of hiking!"

"Maybe so...but I don't think the picture of two girls swimming in the nude is-"

"Well if it bothers you, you don't have to join me."

"Thank you! I'm sorry, but there's probably a lot of people in the area considering it's summer. If someone saw me, I'd be too embarrassed to leave my house for a week!"

"But you're so pretty! Come on, don't tell me that you STILL fail to see it..."

"Okay, okay, let's not go into this lecture again. You should hurry and go into the water before the mosquitos come out."

"Oh, I forgot about that! I hear those pests are more active than ever this year...do you think it's true?"

* * *

The silence was calming, and here they were all alone at long last. After recently stocking the small fire, it crackled almost rhythmically...and continued to burn regardless of the many troubles stacked against it.

In a way, that determined fire resembled the couple. "The only two in this site".

Apollo recently had to leave the site to get rid of the mosquito. He fought back possible dangers in the fleeting light and maybe tripped over a tree root or two. Or four. SIXTEEN.

...Tree roots are the spawn of evil.

Finally, he shoved the last over-grown hedge aside and stumbled into camp again. "Klavier, I 'disposed' your newest fan. We can get close if you..." Apollo promptly trailed off, eyes opening wider as he fully took notice of a set up. "What movie are you trying to steal from?"

It was like, probably the most cheesy tactic ever. When someone wants sex in the media, they usually strip off some of their clothes and lie in bed with a teasing position.

Klavier was doing just that. But his variation consisted of "accidentally" only having one arm inside of a sleeve and trousers hanging low in a way to suggest he hadn't been wearing underwear this entire day. Of course, he did that cheesy move involving lying on one side and crossing the legs.

This probably would have been more affective if he were wearing nothing except part of that giant blanket underneath him over the waist. Just saying...

Nevertheless, a grin found its way to Apollo's face to suggest he really liked where this was going.

"So you think you're impressive for setting all of this up in eleven minutes?"

Klavier stifled an amused chuckle with the back of his hand. Then he casually put on a blissfully innocent expression and looked about the overheard trees. "Does this not please you?"

Eyes seeming to glint with fondness, Apollo slowly drifted over to the scene. He circled the blanket, gaze locked there because it's not like anything else about this campsite was attractive.

He wished he knew how to respond. Of course he wanted to strip right there and pounce on him.

But he...he had to compose himself if he wanted to make this work. All of the other times, he either lost his composure and dived straight into the unknown or...well...he flat out didn't know what was best and had to be dominated.

...Oh, eff this resistance! There were more parts of his body twitching that just his fingers, and his composure against all of these freaks shouldn't hold anyone back!

"Klavier, I only have one request." Apollo suddenly said...seriously? The heavily eager expression seemingly disappeared and was replaced with a grimace.

And so Klavier waited, shocked about the change in mind. Unable to react with words, the best he could do was sit up properly and stare.

And time passed unfairly slow as Apollo crouched down to him and moved his lips close to his ear.

"Everything that happens here will be **classified**. Once we get started, that's it. People like Mr. Wright and Trucy **never** hear about what happened in the campsite." Through his words, Klavier didn't have to see his face to know he wore a familiar goofy smile. "No one has to know I can let my hair down, okay?"

"Herr Forehead, that wasn't the kind of request I was expecting." – "_I was hoping you would perform that sucking technique you mentioned the last time!_" – "But you're starting to make me very hot by leaning so close~"

And with that, Klavier wasted no time. Willing to help him let his hair down, he rapidly encircled arms around his lower back and seized his lips.

* * *

**Scrape. Scrape. Scrape. Pant. Pant. Scrape. Scrape.**

"I have reached my limit...but you won't see the light of day..."

**Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.**

"My only regret was picking you up on the side of the street two years ago. I'm not the loser, am I? After all...you're the one who doesn't deliver anything but hell!"

**Scrape. Scrape.**

"Whew, I think it's over..."

...

"Yes...I did it! I beat it!"  
With the final shoving of dirt over the recently-dug hole, the shovel was thrown down in a victorious manner.

Phoenix flicked the lingered sweat away and lowered his hand to pat his tormentor's final resting place.

"Don't worry, TV. If some other poor soul discovers you, I only wish they're not from a time of quality picture."

He stood up again, eyes lifting to see the darkness stretching over the sky. Hmm, had he really been out in these woods that long?

Oh well. He would never have to deal with the TV again~ And with that, he comfortably walked away with a swagger down the path he had taken.

The path wasn't very long, he actually had to walk through one of those campsites just to find the perfect burial location. The particular campsite he had to walk through had a giant blanket spread out, a very big tent already pitched, a fire starting to lower, and a cooler and two bags. Phoenix managed to avoid the several tree roots, and only slightly stumbled from behind an over-grown hedge and into the scene.

"Hello? Does anyone have any food I could borrow?"

Unfortunately, all of that overreacting made him hungry. Phoenix could feel the pain of skipping lunch just to travel out here, and he noticed that the bag of food was left open but...he really shouldn't take it without a 'yes'. Or a secure 'maybe'.

"Hello?!"

That was strange. It would seem that people were camping in this section, so where could they be? Phoenix curiously walked around, stepping over bottles and shoes, he finally made his way to the river's edge.

Two sets of clothing were quite messily lying there.

Oh...now he understood.

"Horny teenagers." He shuddered, teenagers just scared him these days. "They could be out in the water a long time, I guess there's no harm in helping myself to a rest stop."

Because of course teenagers are friendly enough to let you raid their campsite, man!

* * *

Thankfully, the water temperature wasn't extremely chilly. Apollo could admit to thinking the whole concept of swimming naked being...health hazardous. Seriously: who wants underwater plant life and pollution raking against their crotch?!

...Unless that's your fetish. In which case, you get a salute.

Klavier didn't SEEM bothered by being attacked with things that really shouldn't be anywhere near the crotch region. So...Apollo tried to ignore it. At least until a floating twig almost-you know, let's not even go there! Yeeeesh...

For the most part, Apollo was losing his composure. As apposed to his virginity. But seriously, he was succeeding with casting his cares of being seen into the horizon. Once he recovered from the twig incident, he floated through the water a little more and was gaining a sense of enjoyment.

Like...! Like...! Like being whisked away into a world where social customs don't exist, you can wander around in the nude and NOT get arrested on the spot, and casting those clothes were like casting away human flaws of shame...! And why does that exist?! Oh, let's REALLY ask some life-

...Whew, got a little into the life-questioning. Ahem, uh, so Apollo found this not awkward.

Then two hands outstretched from behind and were lightly pressed against his eyes. Apollo felt a little...unsettled. Especially when someone's body was resting against his.

"Guess who~"

Geez, did he really try that game? Let's see: tanned hands, an obvious difference in height, the voice only a desperate forever alone type would listen to for hours (though it depends on interpretation)...well, there was only one person!

Like an imp. Like a flipping imp, that was what Apollo's smile was beginning to resemble as he lifted his hand and affectionately brushed one of the wrists.

"If I only had one chance? **Obviously** it's you, Mr. Wright."

Klavier's eyes snapped open and his grin immediately fell into an appalled gape.

Fail.

Restart or Continue? 10...9...and so on...

"Kidding. Come on, I think I would know your voice from anyone else!"

When the utterly hopelessness of his fail faded away, Klavier dragged himself out of the trance with a head shake like his brain had to reboot.

But when that was over, he pretended like nothing happened. He removed his hands and lowered them down to encircle his waist.

"Ahhhh~"

It took a lot for Apollo to make a sound like that. You'd think his kind would be screaming his head off in ecstasy at the slightest touch, right? Tsk tsk. WRONG. For the love of all-! It was always difficult to get a rise of that form!

But his pleasure fueled his own pleasure. Klavier felt this was good. You know, a little stimulation before the major action rises. With a sudden mood approaching, he felt it was best to give more.

Fingers roamed about the waistline area swiftly, two of them were even lifting a little higher to massage the navel area.

He certainly felt shivers descend his body. But...where were the sounds? They, they went missing?

For a case like this, he had to use his seduction tone. So Klaver did just that, smacking his lips in preparation and then lowering said lips extremely close to the ear.

"We're far away from the people we usually associate with, Herr Forehead. Tonight, you can make all the noise you want." With the applications of more delicate strokes over the waistline and warm breathing on his neck, Klavier swore he could see his skin flushing vividly in this increasing-darkness.

Still not one noise. A frustrated expression crossed over Klavier's face when he fully realized...damn...Apollo was keeping a palm shoved to his mouth.

"...Are you trolling me? You, a defense attorney, trolling the prosecution?!"

...It was all part of the game, but Klavier wouldn't let this bother him. He swore he heard faint snickers from behind that palm so at least he wasn't serious. He just wanted to let his hair down and live like he was a teenager.

"...Trolling has never looked so desirable." Klavier sighed dreamily, taking away his hands for a second to redirect them to loosely drape around his neckline. "Why don't you lead the way now? Perhaps find what makes **me** especially cry out like you did at the motel?"

"...Hmm. I guess I could arrange that." Apollo craned his neck around and send a beam in his direction. "But when you're calling things out: the first thing I want to hear is 'Apollo'. I mean, if that's okay...is it?"

"I can't believe you have to ask! ...It should be obvious that this can be arranged."

"Well, it's not my fault you're forever associating me with a remark about a completely different forehead."

"Hey, I think it's quite fitting for you nevertheless~"

"You know, I'll never understand how you people conjure these titles..."

* * *

Athena sighed and fanned herself with the newspaper. "Maybe we picked the wrong day to go on a camping trip, Junie. Even after skinny dipping TWICE, it's so hot tonight."

A passing Juniper stopped to send her an amused smile. "We haven't done this in a long time. I think you still have to adapt all over again, but you'll feel better after taking it easy."

Athena nodded, that was all she could do. She fell back against the pile of bags and a cooler, still fanning.

Juniper shook her head, still wondering how it was possible that her friend could hike for God knows how many miles...yet this heat was wearing her down. Ah, logic...

"Well if you need me, I'll be fixing my sleeping bag." Juniper suddenly froze in the middle of walking back to the tent. She clutched the sleeping bag in her hands, a shudder ensued. "I remember all of those stories we'd exchange right here in this campsite about really bizarre occurrences of people going missing or actual ghosts of drowned horny teenagers floating by."

Yeesh, she really didn't want to believe that stuff existed...but come on...they were crafty storytellers back then!

Athena lifted her gaze back to her, chuckling lightheartedly. "Well if anything does show up after all of these years Junie, you can sleep good knowing that I'll keep watch." She then groaned and collapsed against her prop. "It's not like I'll get any sleep in this heat wave anyway!"

The seconds began to drift along peacefully afterward. There were some slight rustles from the tent, followed by grunts as her friend worked with a stubborn sleeping bag. The heat wasn't getting any more bearable, even though it was cooler tonight than it was the previous!

So Athena reached into the cooler behind her back in an awkward, backward position. She almost grasped a can, but then her eyes picked up some shapes in the river.

They had a lantern nearby, but it wasn't the best for light. Athena still reached for that instead and held it up while looking out into the distance.

However, relief flooded into her released breath. Paranoid promptly eased. "Oh, it's just Apollo and Klavier." Athena laughed nervously, setting the lantern down.

She was about to reach into the cooler again, but froze as reality dawned on her.

"...Were they...?"

She swore she saw them in close proximity and holding each other intimately.

"Thank God I brought this pair of binoculars!" Athena picked up the aforementioned item at her feet, and hurriedly shoved it against her widening eyes. "They're actually...! In the river...! Oh Apollo, you know how to spend your weekends!"

That was some awesome weekend-spending right there.

Her line of vision now magnified, she could only conclude her eyes hadn't played a sick joke. She was seriously looking at those two embracing and...oh God...did Apollo just let him shove his tongue in his mouth? WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN-

"I didn't even know you **could **french at a fast pace. Hmm, Klavier must be hardcore...I may have to look into that sometime." By that point, she was just so lost in the moment that she was babbling nonsense.

But she was serious about looking into it.

And she was leaning over in shock so much that...well...

* * *

"Oh, fugit!" **SPLASH!**

Apollo suddenly snapped his eyes open and threw himself away from the contact – damn –. "What was that?!"

Though his head was still spinning and lost in fantasy-fulfilled mode, Klavier leaned over and squinted in the direction the splash seemed to come from. "I think it was just a branch. But I'm not sure; my eyes aren't what they used to be with all of the darkness lately."

"Oh." Nonchalance radiating a little high, eh Apollo? Because you can't simply respond with-

"Anyway, would you like to resume our activity?" Klavier cut in, putting his sexy on as he grinned and moved extremely close. "I believe a certain someone was about to test his limits by reaching for my backside without warning."

OH NO, HE WAS TOTALLY CAUGHT- "Um...I don't know who that could have been." Suddenly flustered about it, Apollo's skin further flushed and he nervously brushed through his hair. "There are a lot of plants in this river and-"

A hand reaching out to cup one of his reddening cheeks stopped his fail excuse in its tracks.

And to further make him look so false-advertising-innocent as he usually did, Klavier pressed a lingering peck against his lips and said one thing in return.

"It's too bad you don't realize you're so **surprisingly sexy** when you show that backbone of yours." Notice the emphasis on 'surprisingly sexy'.

Maybe it was just the literal heat of the moment, however...could he really be turning him on with this "backbone"? Oh, so THAT must have been what caused all of those unfortunately-wasted erections, right?

Well...if he wanted him to take charge...Apollo would not fail to deliver. He briefly cracked his knuckles and further let his hair down by sending a no-restraints...actually quite suggestive smile in his boyfriend's direction.

"Well seeing as a certain someone in this river can't hold himself back anymore, and I'm in that same situation, perhaps we should take this back to our tent."

"Oh, what do you have in mind?" "_The technique you promised?!_"

Suggestive Apollo merely stalled for a second, being quite the literal cocktease as he sent fluttering fingers up and down Klavier's legs.

"Well let's just say that it's something I'll never repeat to anyone at the agency. If they found out I was doing this, I can say with a straight face they will NEVER stop cracking inside jokes about it."

"Ooh, well what are we doing **here**?" Klavier reached for the hand still brushing on his leg, he hurriedly began swimming away and dragging the suggestive form of his boyfriend with him. "I would suggest we 'blow' this, but that would be too easy. Unless your activity really involves blowing; in which case I just want to suggest would really turn me on~"

And he babbled the rest of the way.

Suggestive Apollo put up with it because honestly, let's face it, only he could make nonsensical babble be sexy.

...So "happily ever after"? Do you think that perhaps, FINALLY the world allowed them to not be disturbed? This normally would be the part of the story where the climax ensues in more ways than one – preferably with a big scream of "APOLLO~" to shake this campsite.

...Hahaha. WRONG.

In a nutshell...this is pretty much how the rest of the night played:

"_WHY DOES THE WORLD SEND STRANGE THINGS INTO MY BAG?!"_

Oops. On second thought...that's not good context.

Let's have another go around, and do it with feeling:

_The leaves and dirt crunched underneath their bare feet as they scurried over the landscape. Although a paranoid Apollo did briefly backtrack to the river edge; he was relieved to see the clothes still lying there. Because one time, these really jacked up kids on a camping trip-_

_Erm...on second thought, his mind wasn't ready for the long-buried memory._

_Klavier asked if he wanted to be carried bridal style. Apollo refused with a silent, dead serious stare._

_So the two peeled the tent doors open; both happy to see nothing looked out of the ordinary. Words could not describe how mood-killing it would have been to land on a bystander squirrel or something. And thank God this tent was big and show off – now they would have a little more space to do the deed._

_With no clothes in the way, there wasn't much left to do. It was time for the first round to officially start, and so Klavier fell down to one of those my-body-is-ready positions involving spreading his legs._

_Apollo's reaction? Erm... "There's no entrance." He even sent him a bewildered expression and folded his arms like he was trying to figure out...did he suddenly take this submissive role too far?_

_Not that Apollo was expecting an entrance to be in that location. I mean, it was **dark **before...but he never had felt anything to suggest **otherwise**._

_Still, Klavier didn't seem disappointed by his lack in understanding. He just smiled impishly as he replied, "I was looking forward to this 'technique' you've promised. But seeing as this will be the first time, I'm willing to overlook your awkward misunderstanding."_

_Apollo nodded slowly. And that was all he could do in response; no words needed to be said after such a comment._

_But with the seconds ticking by and the two remaining where they sat and lied...not to mention the shameless view Apollo was being offered...well, Apollo's eyes were solely locked there to be honest about it._

_He didn't want to seem eager about it, but Klavier couldn't stop waiting for him to just approach already. Why was he resisting? Why couldn't he just use his mouth instead of hands?_

"Although...perhaps he's not prepared. I should have anticipated alternate endings to this-OH! Oh, that's...what was I just talking about~"

_By that point, it was a brief moment of awkward pain – getting a little dangerous there, Apollo –...it gradually dissolved. Well, Apollo obviously hadn't done this before and one could criticize his form of the technique._

_But would Klavier be currently clawing the sleeping bag and panting like he just ran from this dimension to the next in one day if his technique was unable to score a reaction?_

_Apollo didn't know what he was doing he, he just hadn't a clue. Maybe he wasn't supposed to have any hand contact at all; because his hands were currently forcefully pinning down Klavier's to ensure he didn't leave from this spot. Not to mention there are some things that people never anticipate they'd ever have in their mouth._

_...But some things feel so right._

_...He so did not care how awkward it would be waking up tomorrow~_

"_Mmm...ah, wha, what time's it..."_

_Apollo's eyes flickered with confusion. He stopped for a second, reeling his mouth away and sending Klavier a confused expression. "It's probably after ten?"_

_Klavier, when he was finished regaining use of his body, lifted himself up a little and stared with unease. "I never asked for the time."_

"_Ugh, guess I overslept? It's all that **television's **fault..."_

_Shock and mortification seemed to jolt through their body's at the same time, it was in that instant when the couple of our focus craned their necks to check out Apollo's sleeping bag._

_...It just occurred to them that a mystery lump was in that bag this whole time. They noticed it at first, but the lingering arousal prompted them to act fast before it faded._

_...Phoenix turned out to be said lump in the bag. He revealed himself; sitting up with hazy eyes and bed hair._

_Everyone just stared._

_The couple of our focus couldn't even try and preserve some modesty or at least move away. Nope, the shock and mortification left them stranded right there._

_Phoenix yawned casually and stretched his arms behind his head. One would think he heard and saw nothing to never let his employee live down...however...you know it's coming..._

"_This will be REALLY challenging to explain to Trucy when I go home..."_

* * *

_**LOCK THE DOORS, LOWER THE LIGHTS, AND WHISK MY POSTSCRIPT AWAY~**_

Ten first times...and not one virginity was lost that year.

As for Klavier; not one bisexual experiment was given a result that year.

It was amazing: can someone please drop an answer out of the sky? How is it even possible that nothing could go right when there several stories of people's first times over that website Klavier showed him?

Did he feel romantic about him? Yes...he did. Strange as it seems, Apollo really was prepared to physically display a fondness.

It wasn't a question how Klavier felt; he'd just capture him hopelessly in his arms and kiss the hell out of him if he asked.

How could the world be this crazy?! Okay, maybe craziness didn't have a relation to the issue...perhaps it was just...the people. Yes, these familiar – and some not so familiar; what the hell kind a thief throws herself into a window like that – faces seemed to have bad timing and it showed heavily.

After that awkward camping trip, Phoenix was so happy about not having to see that TV again. Also, he heard that poor Athena inexplicably got a case of chills after throwing a crap ton of ice into the river and skinny dipping. Seeing as she was ill, not to mention he couldn't look Apollo in the eyes without snickering, a day off was in order.

Needless to say, Apollo was spending his day lingering in bed. No energy to do something productive could be found, he was just...he was more than prepared to stay here and keep his face down in the pillow in a dramatic manner.

The full feeling of what happened during the camping trip was bolting through his thoughts; he was certain that they were almost there. Maybe he had yet to perfect the technique, but Klavier seemed quite close to a climax already if they had not been interrupted. There was something revealing in all of those noises and roused movements.

Would they ever go through with it? It's not like he was becoming addicted, it was just that he never believed he'd find someone who shared his natural desires.

"Ugh...Herr Forehead, can you turn down that light in my eyes?"

Oh yeah, and Klavier stayed with him since it was late when they scurried out of the campsite.

...How the hell could they have slept in the same bed, yet did not make one move? Oh, does it even matter?! Now we're asking questions!

Apollo finally lifted his head from the pillow, sending the lump next to him a somewhat-amused smile. "It's just the sunlight. Your 'bad eyes' can take it."

All he received in reply was a disgusted groan. Probably directed at the sunlight, not him. And with that, the lump moved a little as Klavier tried to find a better position.

Apollo rolled over to his side too, staring at the back of his head fondly. It seemed that everyone was having issues when it came to looking at parties involved.

Fantastic. After those events, he couldn't keep his eyes on Klavier without recalling their latest experience. And this probably wasn't the best time considering he obviously wanted to sleep in...but his body was being consumed with heat and his heartbeat picked up a pace or two.

He actually managed to bring this prosecutor diva to the point of no control...with his mouth.

Oh God, the SOUNDS that were made. Halfway annoying and halfway sexy...he really didn't know if that combination was possible, however...

"_Oh no, I feel it now. How is it even possible that he can turn me on by just complaining and not even making a move?!_"

It was just the after effects rush. Yeah, of course he didn't have an issue with everything Klavier doing being sexy! That, that would be strange or something! And Apollo didn't think of himself as the strange kind: he was the only one who could combat the freaks, of course.

"_Why does it have to act up now? I'm not sixteen anymore, I'd like to think I have better control over my body!_"

Spoiler alert – he didn't have control over his body.

Unable to take it, Apollo basically went into something of a ragequit without the computer. Furiously, he kicked the blankets away – then basically reached for the one's Klavier was buried under and ripped them off.

"Klavier, I have a problem." He said that as casually as he could manage, despite previously huffing and throwing all blankets to the floor.

"What kind of problem could require throwing the blankets away?" Klavier yawned for a moment, lifting his head to bother to shift around. "You always have the air conditioner running too...oh..."

"Oh" is right. Apollo had risen to sit in a manner that revealed this "problem"; Klavier found himself staring directly at it.

...That's a nice thing to start your morning with. No, you will find no sarcasm here. Klavier also belatedly found himself interested as the sleepiness faded and a knowing smile appeared.

"...I don't find this a problem." How could Apollo have guessed otherwise? I mean, the guy was staring like he was prepared to rip the clothes off to, you know, **help**.

* * *

Forgive the lame excuse of a cutaway, ahem, **two very stimulating minutes later**...

"...Hey, Klavier?"

"Just lie there and relax."

"Yeah, yeah I know. But I saw your cellphone screen light up with a message."

"That's odd. My hands are kind of wet, can you read it for me?"

"Sure. It says 'voice message sent'."

"But we were just...ah, there's no way I could have unless...! Herr Forehead, how long has that phone been lying on the floor?"

"I think two minutes, maybe more. It fell when you threw yourself at me from behind."

"...Okay...and does that mean...?"

"Don't look so worried about it. I mean, who could you have possibly sent an accidental voice message of us acting horny to?"

"Oh, I can think of SOME people."

"Wait, wait, don't say that! Oh God, um, maybe it was just a stranger! Yeah, I mean you don't have anyone like Mr. Wright or something similar stored in there! Why are you silent?! Klavier, who do you think this was sent to?!"

"Shush, calm down. Remember what we were about to do?"

"How can I focus on you inside me when someone is listening to a sex tape?!"

"Shush, let's just save those chords of yours for an appropriate time. Here, let me move a little closer and occupy your mouth with mine."

"...BUT SOMEONE WE KNOW IS PROBABLY LAUGHING THEIR-MMMPH!"

Apollo's lips: seized. And not one annoying complaint was made for the rest of the day – if you know what I mean.

* * *

"**...Oh, what are you-! AH! AH, YOU'RE GOING SO FAST!**"

"**Herr Forehead, I haven't even started touching you yet.**"

"**...Oh.**"

"**You're so adorable when you're eager~**"

"**Shut up. How can we enjoy the foreplay if all you can do is piss me off?**"

"**I won't apologize for stating the obvious. How can you, a defense attorney, be upset because I stated the facts?**"

"**I'm not upset...**"

"**Oh, you're smiling! Hey~ What has you smiling like that all of a sudden?**"

"**Every time you try and piss me off, I, I just can't help noticing your usual grin becomes sexy. I like it.**"

"**Well, if you like that...perhaps I should continue with a little stroke here~**"

"**What?! What, no, that's, why THEEEERE! GOOD FREAKING-AHHHH!**"

"**...Oh, so **_**that**_** must the the reason you constantly poke that section of your forehead. You must be really bored in the courtroom! Or...perhaps it's because you're thinking of someone?**"

"**G-geez, it's not something worth going into detail over! ...And before you even formulate the comment: NO. No, my forehead isn't acting as a second-AAAHHH~**"

"**The blissful beam across your face can tell no lies. But it's only fair that I find one of your zones; especially after you managed to locate mine with ease – in the dark!**"

"**If you keep stroking my forehead, you know I'll just wind up-" **Insert inhuman cry of pleasure that cannot be described by mortal description. "**Do you really want me to freaking come now?! That's not fair: I haven't managed a grasp on you!**"

"**That's okay, Herr Forehead. Besides, if you keep thrashing and shouting like that, you know something will happen to me~ Besides, how can you possibly remember the correct trigger pattern to-HEY!**"

"**Mmm, and you were saying...?**"

"**How...ah...how could you do three moves in a few seconds? That was...that was...do it again.**"

"**Only if you rub the hell out of my forehead's zone.**"

"**H-how fair...I, I like that plan...**"

"What?"

A perfectly suitable reaction, wouldn't you agree? Just a flat "what" was all he felt needed to be said.

To make this bizarre moment even more awkward: this message had yet to finish. He still listened anyway, though changing his mind as he reached a certain part...

Along with a bed squeak count higher than that of a porno, there was also this. From a form of some kind that Klavier was engaged with. "**This heat...**_**this heat**_**...Apollo, I, I'm coming first?!**"

Just as noises to further give a mental picture ensued, he hurriedly turned his phone's speaker off and pressed the delete button.

"...I'm not even going to try." Miles sighed heavily and let his head fall into his hands while the stress just took the wheel.

Still reeling from...whatever, Miles finally reached for the phone and pressed one button for speed dial. A few seconds of a dial tone ensued, and he stuck the phone between his shoulder and ear.

"Hello?"

"Wright, do you still drink grape juice?"

"...How did you know?! Oh man, I, I thought I was hiding it well by mixing it with milk...this is-!"

"Please, send me a bottle."

"...Of course, Edgeworth. Hey, if you don't mind the asking, **why **do you suddenly need brain bleach?"

"Let's just say this: I always receive the strangest voice messages."

"...?"

* * *

_**...And one virginity was finally lost that year.**_

_**...And in Mr. Gavin's case: one bisexual act was finally explored that year.**_

…_**In the heat of the moment, only one question was asked.**_

"_**Is your...schedule cleared tomorrow night?"**_

_**Tsk tsk, do you really need to ask questions?**_

_**FIN**_

* * *

"CAN YOU FAST FORWARD TO GO DDDDDOOOOOWN~"

That song line inspired this more than you'll ever know. O_o *TCS gets shot dramatically. With a water hose* ...Hey! Hey, that's not cool! I don't even like Panic! At The Disco that much. *Shot again* Tsk tsk, random water-wielding critics these days! –_–

Well, thank you all for enduring this very long story. I don't usually write my one-shots at twenty-thousand and over...but I decided "screw that", because I haven't written anything in a while and this pairing may be the most flexible AA yaoi couple in existence...seriously...you can throw them into any situation and it works! For more evidence; a friend of mine makes it work **and then some**!

I'm still searching for my style, as you can no doubt tell by my sense of humor littered about and the many unstable moments. Yes, I'm not really comfortable as a writer yet – but I've only just begun so...cross the fingers?

Please let me know of your thoughts. I'm already fearing the worst about this story: I did not proofread any of it, occasionally my sense of humor overrides too much, and let's not forget possible crappy characterization and the like. If there are any flaws, PLEASE let me know. It's the only way I'll ever learn and become better as a fellow author with too much time on the hands.

Well, once more, thanks for your viewing of the fanfic. This has been The Chosen Storyteller, now signing out to go search for his purpose in life~ Remember that we all have a few screws loose when it comes to our sense of humor, and have a good life~ :D


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